So I am 20 and gay. I have dated guys and have almost no attraction to girls. I currently have a boyfriend who I love to death. I love guys a lot both emotionally as well as thinking they are hot but when it comes to doing anything sexual I love the idea and even fantasize about it until I actually see/feel their naked penis. Ever since I was a teenager I literally would lose almost all the physical attraction towards guys I liked once I saw/felt their penis. Even to the point were once we go past cuddling and making out I can't stay hard. Whenever I would have a hookup I would be so not into it and nervous that I couldn't get hard at all. Once I finally got a boyfriend I loved when i was 17 I had no problem staying hard (even though I didn't love his penis) and really enjoyed the sexual parts of the relationship so i contributed all of the issues with other guys to being simply that there was no emotional attraction. But now with my new boyfriend even though I love him just as much, when we cuddle and kiss I get really hard and turned on but as soon as it goes past that I can't seem to stay hard. I will get hard and either right before it goes in him or right when its finally in I lose my erection. I tell him that i'm just not turned on and he gets somewhat offended that he doesnt turn me on or makes jokes saying I'm an old guy since he's a few years younger then me but I'm only 20. It really sucks cuz I am a complete top and he's a bottom so i can't satisfy him What do you guys think is the issue? Just some background info on me I'm not overweight or use drugs. I do however have depressions and anxiety problems.
Just a word of caution, I'm going to be graphic in what I have to say next: Perfectly normal if you ask me. I am a bottom and I have had a lot of sex with gay and bi men who were exclusive tops. Penises did absolutely nothing for them and often the most popular position for them was "doggy style" so that way they wouldn't have to see it. The other option is having the bottom wear a jock strap or partially wearing his underwear on. Some couples prefer to have the bottom lying down on his stomach while the top does his business. My ex openly admitted that he hated penises and that he had especially hated large penises. Sometimes during sex, he used to cup my dick and balls, sort of like a handle, to either flip me around or compromise on his intense dislike for dicks haha. It was always quite funny and entertaining to watch him navigate around it. Mind you, he was a complete gay, so there was no questioning his sexuality. Finally, sometimes when you fear something, or you keep perpetuating your supposed inability to do something or to navigate a course of action, you eventuate the cause of your fears. It becomes sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy when you reinforce and validate your fears resulting in an eventual, almost automatic loss of hardness not simply because of anxiety, but simply because you keep saying to yourself that you can't do it... just have fun with it. My advice is to try doggy style or have your bf wear a jock strap
You're not alone, the penis does absolutly nothing for me either. Giving oral just feels like a chore to me. Just as Mystory says, its perfectly normal.
Well tops and bottoms sometimes tend to have different preferences...For example, tops GENERALLY don't seem to like penises as much as bottoms(me being a bottom myself). The bottoms tend to like penises more while the tops are more attracted to where they put it in...so yeah. I believe it's just that different people have different preferences. Not all people like the same things, so do not worry about it.
Well I'm not gay, but I can get off to gay porn with daddy/bear fantasies in it. Have no feelings/crushes for guys. Yet I can imagine having sex with older men. It's brief though, and the thoughts are unsettling. Just proves that a lot of things don't make sense.
I guess it is what it is. If you don't like penis, you don't like penis. You can still be gay. I personally love penis, but that's another story. Haha.
You could just be nervous, BECAUSE you love him so much. That was definitely the case for me - back when I still had a gf, the first few times we tried sex, I had trouble maintaining an erection. It was just like you say, we were cuddling and kissing and I was hard like a bone. I took off her shirt and played with her boobs and I was still hard as a bone. But then we undressed completely, and when it was to come to actual penetration, I suddenly lost the erection. I really liked her, I wanted our sex to feel great and to be a good partner, and all those worries and expectations I placed on myself made me so nervous every time that I couldn't stay hard. This could be your problem too, maybe? You are so worried whether you will perform well, that you can't perform at all?
Your anxiety could definitely be a contributing factor. You should def be honest with your boyfriend about what's going on and assure him that you're still into him. Also, just throwing this out there, there are alternative methods of penetration besides your penis. How do u think lesbians get it on?
I like the penis. But I prefer to be top. The penis turns me on when you know, I am engaging in oral activities with a lover or significant other (single right now. No I'm not advertising). It's just I can't handle being a bottom. I've tried and tried with past relationships so many times, but I can't stop screaming in pain. Sometimes I would cry. That is the turn off. All of my relationships tops (seme) as well. For all of you bottoms (uke) out there, I congratulate you. The real troopers. I puss out every time.
good. I am so annoyed by tops that like dick. if you ain't hard, have him suck your dick till you get hard then stick it in him. I'd slobber your knob to keep you hard. that's just being a good bottom
