Im frustrated, my girlfriend has mental and physical hurdles that keep our sex life so confusing. In the beginning everything was off the chain good (i thought...) but then period problems and health problems made everything really awkward. I rarely get her off through oral and i never had this problem with other women... i have tried everything to where I just want to give up. i think she thinks too much (shes super intelligent), Or i suck because now im afraid to do anything. Her breasts are sensitive, her period is heavy, shes afraid now of insertion, and when i go down she mentioned it tickled. this sucks wtf. Clit on clit is usually our best option but i think its getting boring and sometimes can be an incredible amount of work. Its like shes finicky or everything goes wrong, so im afraid to go hard on her clit and afraid to go soft (tickles) like really ....ugh im really just tired of it and just want to like go cheat and f*** some women really good to make myself feel better.
Have a look at devices called magic wand. There are quite a few devices of this category. There are battery powered ones called smart wand. I have to say at your own risk . They are really powerful. Look up a few experiences. If they are too powerful, a piece of cloth can be used in between. You could help your girlfriend accept her body. She might be too critical as part of beauty culture. She might avoid things that cater to it... comparisons... super sleek models... etc... She might see her body as something very special and precious... think about it, its unique... she could just stop comparing, or looking for flaws, and start appreciating... the feelings she has when taking a bath, for example... just feeling comfortable with herself. Do you have one of those mirrors that magnify ? Its the same with the things perceived as flaws. She feels it magnified, other people don't even notice. She might try to concentrate on sensations rather than thoughts. If distracting thoughts come up, she could concentrate on sensations. She could concentrate on her breath. Breathing rhythmically instead of stopping breathing. Is she on medication ? That might interfere... she could ask... (*hug*)
some people just aren't into oral. It has nothing to with you, it's just how they're wired. For example, my breasts aren't very sensitive. Communication is key. Sit down with her sometime (not right after you've had sex!) and talk about how you love her, but you're afraid she's not having as much fun in bed as you are. Ask her what techniques she wants you to try soon, what she wants you to try in the future, and what's off-limits.
I had this problem with one of my gf's, for some reason I had a lot of trouble reaching orgasm with her in any way. She said she had never had that problem before and I believe her, but neither had I with others. I suggested a few things to try but she wasn't very interested in trying things outside her repertoire. Have you asked her for suggestions? If she's able to masturbate and get herself off, she should be able to tell you how to please her.
