So, I met a guy on an app. We got to talking both on the site and over the phone. He is a nice guy, and we have a lot in common being we are shy and about the same height, have the same first name, and age. He has a cute soft voice. Anyways, he got really disappointed when I told him I was a bottom after he asked because he is one as well. However, he thought I was cute. I pretty much melt when someone says that because I don't get that a lot. We decided to go on a date in a few weeks. I told him that a relationship is more than just anal sex, but he seemed hung up about it. However, can it really work without it when I really have always sought receptive sex once in a long term relationship for awhile? I tried penetrating my friend awhile ago in 2002, but I couldn't get penetration easily enough. I really don't want to be forced into topping just to save a relationship. Yes, I realize it is just a first date and may be moot if he seems odd in person. But selfishly, I really want this to work out as I have few guys into me and haven't been in a relationship in 12 years. The pluses with him for me are that he is a virgin and uncut, which I like. However, he didn't know what 69 was. It's also somewhat hard to understand him; I'm not sure whether he has a speech impediment or if it is just nerves. Also mods, not sure if this is better suited for phys./sex. health or general advice, so move as you see fit. Thanks.
I think you guys could make it work if you really got along well. Most of the guys I'm attracted to are probably bottoms like me (I think) and I would work with it if I met someone who I really liked. A relationship is more than sex as I'm sure you know, so if he's hung up on it, maybe that's a red-flag. Besides, there are other ways to have sex besides anal. If you hit it off, I'm sure you can find a way.
I don't think it matters at all. Whether it be that both of you guys are bottoms, tops, versatile, power bottom, etc. And yes, relationship isn't just sex but there are many ways to do it. Since he doesn't know what 69 is, you might want to "teach" him but it looks like you guys need to do more of communicating if both of you want to be in a serious relationship.
if you really enjoy each other, why let that stand in the way. you can always find things that work to give each other pleasure, that you both enjoy. that is the unitive aspect of sex, and you just do what works. better that, then to be with a top whom you can't stand..
I wouldn't go down that lane my self....ok might as well sleep with a woman close my eyes let her have a strapon because I really like her..and you know what some guys do manage that. I guess it's really up to you how important it is...but i find it really difficult to be lenient on that department...I don't want problems down the road..which almost always happen if the sex is not ok in gay relationships and you feel you are just doing stuff due to lack of options. You could just experiment I guess and see if there is chemistry, but frankly from my experience..if you are not versatile you just are not.
Of course it can, why wouldn´t it? Both just has to deal with the fact, that sex isn´t the most important thing in the relationship. And if it doesn´t bother either of you, then that is fine then. Besides, having sex is much more than just fucking...
It can totally work. My bf & I both prefer to bottom but will trade topping from time to time. There are toys, oral, masturbating together... There are lot of relationships out there that don't involve constant banging...
