I know this is going to sound preachy, but I had two experiences in the last two weeks that I wanted to share to remind everyone that HIV is real, it is out there and it can happen to any of us if we are not smart. First, I was speaking with a young guy of about 21 yoa, who said he engages in bareback sex. He seemed very smart and rational, so I was rather surprised. When I cautioned him about the risk of contracting HIV, he said that he always asks his partners beforehand if they are negative. I then explained that there are some men out there who will say anything to get someone to have sex, including lying about their HIV status (I also discussed those who incorrectly believed they are negative). Despite his age and apparent maturity, this young man was genuinely surprised that someone would lie about such a thing. He was clearly naïve and had likely placed himself in great jeopardy. Please guys remember, just because someone tells you they are negative does not mean it is true or that they really know their actual status. The second experience happened this week. I met a very nice guy, who was also a professional, and we made plans to go out on a date. He emailed me the next day to cancel because he just learned he was HIV positive. From the outside, there was, of course, no way to tell that he was positive. (We are still meeting for a drink – he certainly will need as much support as he can get right now). This man was good looking, smart, funny and successful, yet he contracted HIV. He is an example that it does not matter who you are, if you are not careful, you too can contract HIV. Please don’t ever forget, sex can be a wonderful thing, but a few minutes of pleasure are not worth shortening or ending your life if you are not careful.
s5m1 - thank you for posting this very important message. I've been a nurse for >20 years and suffered with my HIV/AIDS patients back in the 80's when there was little we could do but watch them die. The treatment available today is better, but HIV still isn't cureable. I've had discussions with young guys that say they don't care if they become infected...because its 'treatable', but I wonder if they can live with the knowledge that they've infected someone they love because they were careless? It is still a live altering disease - and it is 100% preventabe. Be safe guys, its not worth it! Tim
Wow-that really puts things into perspective. I always use a condom, but some times I can see how it's tempting to just forego using it. My heart goes out to your friend, and I hope that the 21 y/o got the message before it was too late.
It is a great reminder. Like all the posts above I hope the 21 year old gets the message and stops acting stupid.
Yup, always use a condo1m! very important stuff! as the immortal anna once said, 'Don't be silly, wrap your willy!"
Before I was born (about 1986) my mom was taking care of one of the first known AIDS patients. Nobody knew it at the time. They didn't use gloves, or protective eyeware or anything. Needless to say she got a needle poke but got very lucky in that she didn't contract HIV. It's really people. Take care of yourselves and trust nobody.
I received a needle stick back in the 80's from a patient in full blown AIDS. Don't you think I didn't stress over that for a few years! Thankfully, never converted, but still get checked every 6 months or so just in case....I do still have occupational exposure, not to mention a social life!
Hmm.. One thing I don't get is guys thinking you can only contract is from anal, so they wear a condom for anal but when giving/receiving blowjobs they swallow it all.. And it isn't just HIV you need to be careful about, think of all the STDs and STIs floating around these days..
^What's really annoying is the ignorance of thinking that if you only have straight sex, you can't get HIV.
I myself will admit I did bareback, even though I knew the risks. I am happy to say I am negative, but I no longer have sex bareback. I do not wish to risk my life to a disease, especially as I would have to come out again to my parents both as gay and HIV+. People I got lucky, but there's no guarantee you will, there's a slim chance you will walk away okay. Be safe, wear a condom, and make sure your partner wears one if they are the top, because statistics show that someone who is a receptive partner without using a condom has a 50 in 50,000 chance of contracting HIV. This may seem like "Oh that's large, it won't happen" but it's completely the wrong thought. You have just as much a chance as anyone, and trust me the consequences are not worth the risk. Yes I said I'm negative, and I don't know anyone who is positive, but it is still a horrible disease that you don't want to live with. Just be safe, wear a condom and protect yourself.
I honestly have never thought about that... I mean I know it can be contracted orally. I usually just think: Well, I don't have any cuts or sores in my mouth. In the heat of the moment contracting an STD/STI orally is the last thing on my mind. Anally, however, condom useage is first thing I think about.
I would also point out that this is a logical fallacy as there is not sufficent burden of proof. The only proof a neative HIV test offers that the virus was not detected at that time. It does not prove that it is not present. More proof would be required to show the virus is not present beyond a resonable doubt. Like the poster above that has been tested twice a year for over 20 years and shows no symptoms. I would hold that to be resonable proof. For some one with multiple partners that does not practice safe sex. Yeah a hand full of tests is not going to do it.