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Ejaculating issues

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by shyguyww, Feb 15, 2015.

  1. shyguyww

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    I'm 24 years old and am a grad student. I recently got over the liking my straight friend cliche and started meeting men online. I'm still in the closet, which is why I've only met men online. So I met this guy, he is younger that me, but he is super cool, super hot and we get along great. The thing is we've done stuff together about three times already (no anal yet), and I can't ejaculate when I'm with him, and I get hard just by him touching me. This had never happened to me before with women. Maybe porn damaged my mind? Any advice?
     
  2. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    well, I guess porn can damage someone's mind, but I think that usually comes in the form of reality not coming up to the fantasy, and then it can be difficult to even get it up. There might always be a medical issue, so I wouldn't rule out discussing it with your doctor if it persists. are you still able to cum when you masturbate? If not, then that could be a medical problem. otherwise, I think you might want to try to just enjoy it all without worrying about whether you ejaculate or not. and when the stress is gone, who knows what might happen. Vesuvius?
     
  3. GreyIce1

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    It's simple: Do anal
     
  4. Difficult

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    I have never been able to ejaculate from oral... just one of them things. Not to say I don't enjoy it... quite the opposite, I just can't ever go over the edge. Could be a mental thing so now I try not to think about it and just enjoy the moments. As for penatration though, no problems at all. I would have to agtee with GreyIce1, just do anal.
     
  5. robclem21

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    This is bad advice. Don't do anything that you aren't ready to do and don't let anyone make you feel like you need to in order to please him/yourself.

    While it sounds like you are getting along alright, it is most likely psychological (given you can still jerk off normally). Especially if you struggled the first time due to nerves or whatever, it isn't uncommon for that to weigh on your mind and stop you from getting off, even if you are really horny. Just try to relax and enjoy the moment without thinking about getting off. In the end, thats not really the goal right?
     
  6. Difficult

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    I wasn't intending my advice to sound like pushing you to do anything you were not ready to do. Sometimes putting thoughts to words trips me up :slight_smile: The intent was more so don't focus on "having" to ejaculate from oral sex, just enjoy it. Then when and if you are ready, take it further but once again just enjoy it for what it is, don't pressure yourself. Good luck with it :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Difficult, Feb 16, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2015
  7. Kaiken

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    I don't think not ejaculating is a big thing. When I've been with men I've never ejaculated. Granted, I am a bottom, but I don't feel the need to. And as previously mentioned by someone else, I've never gotten off by oral. It's always felt strange to me. I mostly enjoy the closeness with the other person.

    Porn sets up a lot of false expectations. Being pounded like in porn is not hot, it's painful; even when you are relaxed and he's built up to it. Take your time. It might be that you're still uncomfortable being intimate with a man.