I'm 48 and have been out for 7 years (was straight/married up till then) - At the outset whenever I attempted to top I couldn't get it in then went soft. Probably too rushed, nerves, guilt/internalised homophobia. So over time I defaulted to being bottom only, then getting more and more uptight until the present day where I avoid penetrative sex and stick to what I'm good at - Giving blowjobs. I no longer even get hard doing that for someone. Physically I'm fine, no problem masturbating. If I want to feel submissive then bottoming is fine, but I increasingly want to break this mental block and feel potent enough to let go and confidently f*** another man for my first time. I just needed to break the performance anxiety I've developed. So I tried an experiment last night - Got an online prescription for Sildenafil approved (full GP health questionnaire) and was delighted to find myself getting throbbing hard just kissing and stroking with my partner - that hasn't happened for a long time! I left it at that for now, but what really left an impression was being able to relax and enjoy myself instead of feeling anxious. Just wondering if anyone else has followed the same course of action?
The interesting thing is that there's some extrapolated data that indicates that the effect of viagra/cialis are at least in part placebo. This came about from the discovery that a significant portion of the viagra/cialis ordered online is fake and contains none of the actual medication... yet people continue to reorder and use it. What I've seen in talking to people about this is, for some people there is a tremendous self-imposed pressure they put on themselves which actually fuels an anxiety that, in turn, negatively impacts arousal. I know of some interesting work being done with self-hypnosis and guided imagery that, over time, teaches men to be more comfortable and confident and more easily have erections. In any case... you've found something that works! That, alone, has a huge positive impact on your unconscious feelings about it and my guess is that over time you'll be able to perform just fine without the chemical assistance
Hi Chip, I had the same concerns about whether it was guaranteed genuine - But here in the UK major pharmacy outlets are allowed to have their resident doctors issue prescriptions provided you fill in a health questionnaire and certify that you understand the side-effects and interactions with other medicines you may be using. Im my case, I think it was beyond placebo - I knew I needed a 'no matter what' physical response to free me up to natural desire (lust?) that got buried by my neurosis. My theory is that one success is all it takes, and that imprints on your comfort zone permanently. I've got three pills left, and have a feeling I will only need ONE of them lol.
I tried Viagra for the same reason above. But I found that while it did make me stay hard, it was uncomfortable and actually eroded my vision (common side effect). What I have found, not using any type of enhancements, is a direct correlation between the level of enthusiasm my partner displays while I am topping and my ability to remain aroused. When my partner wants to be the bottom (his mood switches back and forth), I perform well as a top. However, if my partner is more in the mood to top, to the extent that is where my "head" is at as well, then I can find myself loosing interest as we are proceeding and will often switch positions mid session.
I've never used any of the enhancements, but I have been with someone who used them. it definitely gave him what he needed to top. he's older and has health issues that I'm sure are not psychological, and he gets his cialis from his doctor/pharmacy, so it's the real deal. So, I think that it really can make a difference.
Luckily I had no side effects at all - I guess the dosage was just right at 50mg, I'm 6'2 with average weight/build. Last year I was offered poppers by someone to 'get me going' and I had a horrible reaction to it: Thumping headache, dizziness, spaced out feeling for hours And no erection either. It amazes me to read online how some guys use ED meds AND poppers, considering that my Sildenafil info leaflet specifically warns about how doing that can cause a fatal drop in blood pressure!
Not only that, but someone may have long lasting neurological problems. At least that is what I heard. Is that fact or bull, Chip?
