So my I asked my boyfriend to get a full std sexual health based on the things he has done in the past..he did..but he says the experience was awful and now he isn't sure how he feels about me because he feels resentment. What do you guys think about this?
It's not your fault that he got bad medical care. It was perfectly reasonable for you to ask him to get tested. It was actually in both of your best interests. If he did have something, he would now know about it and could get treated for it. So, I really don't see why he's blaming you.
I think that you were within your rights to ask your boyfriend to have a Sexual Health Check if you had concerns. To be honest, most of us could do with a Sexual Health Check if we're sexually active - it's a sensible thing to do! I think it's very mature of you both. At worst, it's going to be embarrassing (though I should point out even most clinics are actually very understanding and friendly)- but even if that's the case, it beats the alternative - being unaware of a sexual transmitted infection. I hope that in time, once he's got over the initial embarrassment, he'll realise that.
Me and my boyfriend are waiting the results of our tests. He didn't really want to do it, but i insisted and he eventually agreed, because he understand that its my right (and his right too!) to ask him to get tested, so we can both be sure if we are ok (or, if we are not, we can take the necessary steps to take care of the problem). You aren't wrong on this.
Just because the clinic/doctors office people weren't friendly or whatever it was to make him have an awful experience should not reflect on you wanting the best for you two.
I agree with the others, but I'm wondering if you have also been for a full sexual health test? If you have concerns about your boyfriends past sexual activities it would be wise for you have the same range of tests. If you show a willingness to attend too it may lessen any feelings of resentment that he holds. All credit to you if you have already done this. I'd encourage all sexually active people from the LGBT community to go for regular testing, including those in long term, committed relationships. Even if you are not sexually active (but have been) it's a good idea. If you have an infection or virus you will be able to get treatment, and if you don't you have peace of mind.
I have! I wouldn't have asked him otherwise! He's all just like well my other boyfriends only wanted me to get hiv tests......
He needs to get over himself, or you need to get over him and move on. I was with my fiance for quite some time before we ever had any unprotected sex because of my medical past--I was so scared of being HIV positive because of unprotected sex and doing drugs. I never was, but I felt like I owed it to him and got tested every three months and gave him my results. I wanted him to know, as much as I wanted to know, that I was safe for him. If your boyfriend is so offended by you wanting him to get tested, he's probably not a safe person for you to have in your life. Even straight couples should get tested.
Me and my boyfriend were talking about this last night, since he hates using condoms. He insisted he get himself tested before we stop using condoms and i volunteered to get myself tested too, even though we have had one other sexual partner each since our last check and used condoms with those partners. Its only fair if you have doubts that he gets himself tested, if he cares about you hell want you to feel secure and relaxed about everything. Also i dont understand the bad experiences with the STI check, unless the check is different in america to the checks here in Scotland. Here you only need to discuss your recent sex life briefly with the doctor for a couple of minutes, then you go to the toilet alone to take a urine sample, throat and anal swab. Simply hand them back to the doctor, get a sample of blood taken and thats you done. Its a painless easy experience.
