I was wondering if anyone else has noticed any negative health-related changes when they accepted themselves a bit later in life. I was 28 last year when I finally let go of all those years of bottling up my feelings and ignoring romantic pursuits entirely, from internalized homophobia. Now that I have accepted that I'm gay, and that pursuing relationships is an option, I feel like chemical changes are happening, OR some psychological distress is tensing me up. I know a lot of people say it's good for your health, and I think it will be long-term, but right now, something seems off. I won't go into details (yet), just wanted to see if anyone else had any unusual effects when they came out. If there's a term for it, I'd like to know it, because Googling for this has proven difficult.
Well, I know that when I started coming out to family and close friends, I didn't feel any better at first. I was expecting it to feel like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders (and in time, it did feel that way), but in the short-term, I was almost more stressed than I had been before I came out. I felt pretty tense and uneasy, especially in the presence of those I had come out to.
Take a long term approach. I am two years out, and initially my stress levels did increase. With increased stress, my sleeping worsened, my eating habits changed, my sex drive dismissed, my ability focus and concentrate deteriorated. Two years on, and I feel healthier than I ever have. I am fit physically, mentally I feel great, I eat with no issues. Give it some time.
Once I came out to myself and accepted it, symptoms of some chronic health issues diminished greatly (auto-immune stuff that can be explained as your body rejecting itself, mind over matter or what???). At the same time, coming out to others (worries leading up to the conversations etc...) is not necessarily without effects either, like any other source of stress. But I found once I achieved a "critical mass" of telling enough people, it's not as much of a big deal. Therapy can also have various unpleasant effects at first, especially when dealing with things that were repressed for many years. It (usually) gets better. If you have serious and immediate health concerns a doctor's appointment is usually the best place to start. It would be helpful, if you're not ready to come out to your doctor, to at least mention you're going through some stressful personal issues that you're not ready to discuss in detail. BTW nice avatar
I think this is what I was looking for. I have a hard time identifying when I'm stressed, as silly as that sounds. I don't feel much different, but I think my body does things silently in the background, and then I find out with very weird side-effects. Right after I came out to myself, but before coming out to anyone else (only Mom so far), I had no appetite. I had to just remember it was time to eat, and eat something. Taste wasn't as good, and I craved nothing. That improved, but I still have other symptoms that I think may be tied to this. About how long into those two years did you start feeling better? ---------- Post added 15th Mar 2015 at 07:40 PM ---------- I expected to feel a lot better (physically), but I actually gained some symptoms. Mentally, yeah, I figured things would be better, but I also figured it'd take a while to adjust. Also, this isn't about coming out, as I came out to my Mom and had no issue. I have not made plans to tell anyone else, yet. I think it was coming out to myself that caused things to go haywire. I hadn't even considered mentioning this to a doctor. They never ask, and I never tell. I'll think about it, since it could have positive effects in the long run. I was going to say the same thing
