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How can I make him use condom?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Johanz, Mar 28, 2015.

  1. Johanz

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    So this guy and I have been friends with benefits for some time now. First of all we've been playing safe every time we hook up but recently we had sex when we were both really high and at first we used condoms that day but then after the third time we didn't. I was like freaking out, he said he was clean and I we've been fwb for a year now but I know our relationship is not exclusive. So the next time we had sex he didn't wan't to use condom again. I trust him that he is clean but I don't trust the people he sleeps with. Also, he was high again, I feel like he perform risky behavior when he is high, I went along with it before because I was high. I tried addressing the problem how I'm not comfortable about it but he just laugh it off and was rude abut it and was saying "ohh what are you God's gift" ughh I was so piss. he also said that it was my Idea the first time.. I honestly don't know if it was I forgot, but then again I was under the influence . I know he was just kidding but I want him to take me seriously.. And I dont want to cut him off lol I don't know, should I lie to him that I had unprotected sex recently so he get scared? lmao
     
  2. HunGuy

    HunGuy Guest

    First of all let me say I'm happy you used protection so far. Then let me say I think it was a big mistake to have sex while high. Judging from the way you speak about it, I'd say this wasn't your first time being under the influence of drugs, so you should know their effects on you decision making ability. Did you have unprotected sex with him the second time, too? I mean when he was stoned and you weren't? If so, then your decision making ability is just as bad when you're sober as when you're high.

    As for trusting him... Saying "I'm clean" does not make him clean. Trusting him does not make him clean either. Just think about it: he had unprotected sex with you while high, that means he's more than likely had unprotected sex with other people while high. Get yourself tested as soon as you can and get him too. If he doesn't want to, lose him. If he doesn't want to use condoms, lose him. Is your life worth 10 minutes of bareback sex?

    But maybe all my words here will fall on deaf ears, because using drugs already shows irresponsibility and a lack of carefulness. You're willingly placing a drug in command of your mind and body, saying "whatever will be, will be".
     
  3. resu

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    Just say no to any sex unless it's safe enough for your comfort zone. You can't turn back time if things go wrong, especially incurable infections like HIV.
     
  4. Johanz

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    HunGuy- Yeah, I know, thanks I really need to wake up and make myself realize that its not worth it.. I mean I think I like this guy, but that why I dont want to lose him but I like myself more to either wrap it up or no. Oh yeah, when I said High its just on weed by the way, it was my first time getting laid with it and I went nuts and lost all my inhibition to safe sex.. But yeah, I was like sober the last time we had sex well I had a few drink but I know I could have said no, I did say put a condom on but didnt really emphasizes it until when we were done.. But I know its really stupid. He is a really smart guy I think he protects himself because he regularly gets tested and he was not using protection because he knows that im all negative because I recently got tested and I told him about it.. thats why we did it without protection.. Should I just tell him i had unprotected sex? Also, we've been hooking up for a year now and the last 2 is the only time we did it unsafely.. We've hooked up drunk more than half of the time but we still use condom.. I feel like he is getting comfortable with me.. I'm just gonna make sure that he tells me if ever he have sex with out protection so we start using condoms again until we both get tested... Yeah, I know I sound really dumb, young and reckless, but I swear I usually only play safe ahahha. i should know better since we are both science health care major.. -__-

    resu- yeah Il try my best not to give in next time.. He seriously caught me of guard last time, and just played along with it... and I will get tested when I get back from college.. This is seriously not worth the paranoia of unprotected sex.. ughhh
     
  5. PatrickUK

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    I agree with HunGuy and resu.. no condom, no sex. You just need to be very firm about it. Even if you were exclusive a condom protects you from a whole range of STI's. If you have been freaking out over this you need to keep all of those feelings at the forefront of your mind the next time he asks you for sex without a condom; as you say, it's no worth the paranoia.
     
  6. Pret Allez

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    You tell him that wearing a condom is a prerequisite for consent.

    ~ Adrienne
     
  7. Foz

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    And Neville Chamberlain trusted Hitler, look how well that worked out.

    There's more to be worried about that just AIDS/HIV, there are dozens more which can cause untold misery. It's not a case of "we've had sex plenty of times now, we don't need condoms" as that risk will always be there and the only reason nothing happened previously is because you used condoms!
     
  8. Chip

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    The time when people are at the highest risk of transmitting HIV to another person is the period immediately after they've been infected and before they will test positive on an HIV test.

    Therefore, it is extremely risky to have unprotected sex with someone unless you know beyond the slightest shadow of a doubt that they are monogamous. (Which, for me, means *always* using a condom under *all* circumstances, since people make mistakes.)

    I can all but guarantee that if this guy is pushing to bareback with you that he's doing the same with other people, and that your risk is extremely high. Please just say no. No condom, no sex, end of discussion. If he won't do that, he doesn't give a shit about you (or himself) and isn't worth it.
     
  9. Lexington

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    "No glove no love".

    Lex
     
  10. AwesomGaytheist

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    This was exactly what I was going to jump in here and say...except I got ninjaed by Lex by about 5 hours :lol:

    Our point still stands though. The power of "no" should be enough. And if he resists or tries anything, then he sure wasn't worth being with in the first place.
     
  11. Johanz

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    Thank you all for the advise.. Yeah it's really not worth compromising my health over this and getting paranoid, because we are not even in a relationship and not exclusively doing each other.. So yea, next time we meet up, no love with out gloves lmaoo that's hilarious...
     
  12. Johanz

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    No glove no love*