Okay so my gay best friend reccently came out as gay. If you click on my user name you will see my post about our history under Coming Out thread. I'm not going to get into atm. Its too long and complicated. Will just give you a short history: Anyway I'm a female, he's male. A few months ago he used to grope my boobs quite a bit until he decided to stop because it will complicate our friendship. But it was already complicated, I had developed feelings for him and it wasn't til a couple a months ago I began to suspect he was gay and I was right. He kind of used me to make himself not be gay and the groping stopped. We still cuddle and he kisses me on the forehead quite a bit. We both like doing this. However the past couple of days he's started groping my boobs again. Not full on groping but he would just randomly grab one and when we hug he would feel my bra strap. He's told me over and over he's gay but would a gay guy feel up a girl's boobs? And no I'm not uncomfortable with it at all because I kind of like it. And he said something to me too about " I'm gay so I can do what I want to you." he said it in a joking way and we are having fun atm.
That's invasion of personal space. Yeah it might be playful, but does he know it upsets you?. Being gay is no excuse to make someone feel uncomfortable
This is in no way appropriate. Gay or not, no one should go around invading other people's personal space. I think you need to have a conversation with him that it makes you uncomfortable and it needs to stop. If you don't intervene because you "momentarily enjoy it", he will continue this behaviour because you are reinforcing that it's okay.
As the other replies say - its not OK to invade personal space. If you don't like it make it plain to him. I'm sure you can do it without ruining your friendship. But maybe you are giving mixed messages - is that possible? From your posting it seems you may be unsure what you want from him. If he has recently come out as gay he may still be conflicted and may not be at the very homosexual end of the kinsey scale. If you are really close friends there's nothing to be lost, and everything to be gained, by having an open conversation about your relationship.
As the others have said, it's not okay. If a lesbian grabbed at my crotch, I would be upset. Whether they're aroused or not is of no consequence. It's purely a power move on his part and will only likely set the two of you up for disappointment and possibly the loss of a friendship. Unless you welcome this behavior and you both are aware the boob groping is for pleasure, he needs to stop.
He knows I have feelings for him, I told him after he told me he was gay. He used to grope me all the time last year and I kind of let him because I enjoyed it but he decided to stop because he was afraid it might ruin the friendship. Now he's started it up again since he knows I still have feelings for him and I'm letting him. He grabbed at my boob on Friday and again yesterday. Maybe this is a power move on his part I never thought of it this way before. Maybe that's why he takes his bad moods out on me and no one else because he wants me to stop having feelings for him?
