Hi everyone. I just signed up. I have a kind of a unique (maybe a bit strange) problem which I was hoping to get some advise or suggestion on from people on this forum. I am straight guy, so I hope you'll forgive me for trying to use the LBGT forum for advise. I really don't know whom to talk to about this. I do have gay friends but I am even shy about talking to them about this. So if its ok here is some background. I am 45 yo. I live in MA but was born in Eastern Europe. I used to date women but have always been self-conscience about my masculinity or seeming physical lack of it. That is the core of my problem. Now before you conclude that this is the usual normal guy self-image issues that any man might experience, let me fill in more details. I've suspected since I was a teen that I have some sort of hormonal, or genetic issue which makes me physically underdeveloped as a man. So to describe myself physically a bit more, I am of normal height, 5'11. I have seemingly normal hair growth throughout my body for a man. Even my 'junk' is normal or within normal range. After that though, I seem to be underdeveloped for a man. For example, I have a very young-looking boyish face, my hands (especially) and feet are obviously small for a man period and especially for one my height. They are no bigger than that of an average sized woman's. I have hardly any male chest development. Its like I stopped developing midway into my puberty. I do have a chest and abs full of hair so my torso looks like that of a 20-something guy, who is still growing. These physical attributes were not so obvious to others (from my point of view) through my 20's up to perhaps my early to mid 30's (at the latest). But as I have grown older its becoming so painfully obvious that I am different. Nobody would ever guess that I am in my 40's. I don't look anything like men in their 40's. The only thing suggesting that I am no longer in my 20's is some grey hair and gray in my beard which I am able grow with no problem thankfully and adds a little to my age. This is not just a problem when trying to date. Its a problem for me when I am around almost anyone except the few close friends I have, one of whom is gay, and immediate family. Professionally it is always an issue as well as I am extremely self-conscience about my physical appearance. I don't broach this subject with any of my friends or family as I am too embarrassed. I have been experiencing really intense emotional turmoil and social anxiety over this for years. Every passing year it gets worse as my weird looks is making me stand out more and more. I am feeling alone in so many ways, because I feel a bit freakish and don't know anyone with my problems. I've never sought any medical exams specifically for this seeming developmental disorder. So my questions are, is this condition I described sounding familiar to anyone at all? Whether it does or not is there any hormonal (or other) treatments that can help make me more masculine-looking. Lastly, what type of doctor should I seek out if I want to look into this? Is it something you would suggest in the first place? Whatever you say please don't be dismissive, because this is real for me and I have missed out on so much of life due to this. I would be so grateful to anyone with any helpful suggestions, knowledge, or wisdom. Thanks
