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Oh god why am I asking this...

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by InTheCloset16, Jun 2, 2015.

  1. InTheCloset16

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    So as a clueless 14 year old just barely coming to terms with my sexuality, I really don't know anything about gay sex. Everything I've ever learned is about sex with women and I don't really plan on doing that. I haven't really had anyone to actually ask about this stuff. Soooooo, I don't know really what I'm asking, I guess could anyone sort of explain gay sex to me I guess is what I'm asking.
     
  2. Pret Allez

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    Hey sweetie :3

    EC has a resources section on health. It explains how to have sex safely, irrespective of your gender. You can always fantasize about what activities most excite you; and then you can learn about how to do those things safely and to negotiate consent respectfully.

    Welcome to the community, and have a fun time, dear :3

    <Adrienne>
     
  3. Gandee

    Gandee Guest

    Oh, I didn't know EC have a section for that...
    I apologize for not being able of much help.
     
  4. AKTodd

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    Adrienne already beat me to recommending the resource pages. While you can, in principle, find information on gay sex via google, the truth of the matter is that whatever helpful information you might find that way will be buried under an enormous amount of porn and a whole lot of BS and incorrect information. At least some of it will also likely make you end up feeling bad about being gay (because that is the goal of some people in this world, unfortunately).

    As far as 'explaining' gay sex - the resources page will cover a lot in terms of safe sex (Repeat after me: If the sex ain't safe, the sex ain't happening!!!), preparing for anal (if or when you decide you want to try that), etc.

    Beyond that - some advice:

    1) Communicate - Nobody is born knowing how to just automatically do stuff. Nobody can read another person's mind. But you can talk and discuss what you like and don't.

    2) Always respect your partner's boundaries - and always insist that they respect yours.

    3) Be kind - but that doesn't mean let people walk all over you.

    4) Never lie about your level of experience - everybody started out knowing virtually nothing and had to learn - and anyone who would hold that against you is not worth your time.

    5) If your gut tells you a situation feels wrong and you should not proceed or get out in a hurry - listen to it.

    6) Sex is only part of a relationship - Even if the sex is great, if the rest of the relationship is a disaster - especially if the other person is not treating you with respect or is being abusive - you need to get out. You deserve someone who will treat you properly.

    7) Get to know people as people - not just on the basis of whether or not you are attracted to them. You can make a lot of great friends that way - and sometimes those friends will have friends who you are attracted to (and vice versa).

    Hope this helps,

    Todd
     
  5. Pret Allez

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    Oooh, you're fine, luvy. :3

    Todd is a sweetie, and it's important for him to have made consent the first-class citizen of his advice. The reason he and I believe it's so important to frontline this site's resources over just using a search engine is that you need unbiased, medically accurate information. Not porn sites. Not people telling you you're going to get AIDS and die. Not people telling you anal sex will make you incontinent when you're older. People make a bunch of weird, medically unsupported claims because they don't like gay and bisexual men. They want to scare you and make you ashamed of your sexuality. :frowning2: They want to deny you the opportunity to have safe fun, and since they can't choose the path of violence, they'd prefer to lie to you instead.

    Here, this is safe, ethical sex information written by us and for us.

    <Adrienne>