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'H' Infection? [A 15-year old needs help; tmi]

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Armin, Jun 8, 2015.

  1. Armin

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    There's this fear on my mind that has been there since I was 13, and I finally decided to share it in hopes of receiving help from some of you guys.

    [This portion contains something that has happened with me on the past which relates to my appalling fear and you could just overlook it but I thought it would be pertinent with regard to my current issue. Skip to QUESTIONS if you have no time to utilize reading this]:
    JUMPING YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS 12/13
    I knew myself that I'd been gay since I was a kid, and I had been more certain of that when I had my first 'sexual'(?) encounter. I remember making out with a cousin who was I think 2 years younger than I am and was a boy. And that was when I was turning 13. I know it's tremendously horrible. We'd made out for many times—I think for about less than 10?—and it happened during various times. [TW: mentions of inappropriate stuffs] Sometimes we'd use our genitals, sometimes with shirt on and just 'grinding' and kissing. I hate recounting these, ugh. Anyway, the last time we'd done it was back during December 2012, but that was what I truly regretted the most. We were both uncircumcised by that time and our making out reached the point where my thing was just outside his 'bum'hole. This actually happened two times. It hadn't gone inside, it was just brushing against it (I apologize for all these repulsive stories) the whole time. And I never released anything on him, even during our past experiences. I would rush to the bathroom whenever it was time. That was it. Kissing, and that most awful mistake of making contact of my thing with his hole. Twice.

    I hadn't been aware of the 'H', and never been until January 2013 where there was this health program on the TV and they had discussion about this disease. I'd come to know that it was 'only' acquired through anal. I had also read a certain page on a Science book the symptoms of the 'H' and the life span of those with 'A'. I started to freak out.
    To make things short, because of what I've figured out from my surrounding and remembering what I'd done the past year, I had been thinking that I was going to die.

    QUESTIONS:

    1. My cousin and I are both clean, and we'd done 'it' just with ourselves. I'm assured that it's both our first experiences and they were just with each other. Is there a chance of getting the 'H' since all I can see in the news is gays contacting it and that the riskiest activity by which you could catch it is through anal?


    2. We were both uncut the time we'd performed it. However, I, now, am circumcised. But could I have caught it since my thing which was still uncircumcised by that time was on the exterior of his hole and grazed/rubbed against it? It never went inside, from what I can recall. I never did penetrate him. Does this make sense?


    Oh, and whenever I hear something about 'H' or 'A' or just catch a glimpse of it, I would feel like I'm about to pass out. I would feel chilly which would make me more terrified. And just this April, I had this massive onset of fear again because that was the time I'd watched the news that men who were uncircumcised were more susceptible to contracting it. I'd been thinking about the 'H' again.

    This specific issue has been running in my mind alongside guilt of doing it for 2/3 years and I could say I'm totally devastated by it right now. Hadn't I done it, I wouldn't have been thinking about this. I've been undergoing this dismaying apprehension that sometimes I just want to give up. All the time I think I have it that whenever I go to the bathroom I dread that I might transmit it to my family members. :frowning2: :tears:

    SOMEONE PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS. IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. OR IF OTHERS HAVE TIME TO TALK WITH ME, PLEASE DO.

    PLEASE SHED LIGHT TO MY QUESTIONS. SOMEONE. ANYONE.

    I'm also a hypochondriac (health anxious) and I examine my body almost every time.

    I want these doubts and apprehensions to vanish. If you also have questions that have something to do with my post, do leave some. Thank you.
     
    #1 Armin, Jun 8, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2015
  2. bubbles123

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    Okay I know little to nothing about this stuff so I apologize, but I noticed you posted this a couple hours ago and are probably anxiously awaiting an answer. From what I know, you probably have nothing to worry about. If there wasn't penetration then I don't see any way you could contract it even if there was some contact. Also you shouldn't feel so guilty about doing that with your cousin. You were younger and you were experimenting and it's clear that you regret it and probably won't do it again. So go easy on yourself:slight_smile: But also please wait for another response because again I know very little about this, just that you're probably far more worried than you need to be.
     
  3. Armin

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    Yes, I have been waiting for a response since I started the thread. Thank you so much for spending time to provide an answer and even though you say you are incognizant of the matter, you have rather relieved me and put a part of me at ease. The experience had brought me to abhor any sexual stuffs now. :bang:
     
  4. Still Me

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    I would suggest going in to get tested. From what you described, it seems unlikely that you caught something, but a test is a relatively cheap way to put your mind at ease. I don't know what the laws are there, but here, a doctor cannot inform your parents unless you give them permission. If there is a doctor or counselor that you feel you can trust, you might talk to them about it too. They usually have a good idea of anything that is common in the local area.
     
  5. Camel

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    If I have got this right, you where 12/13, and your cousin 10/11 at the time played around together. And no penetration took place (I would hope not at that age). There seems to me to be ABSOLUTELY NO WAY you got infected with HIV from what you did. You say you are a hypochondriac, and I think you have your answer there.

    Stop worrying.
     
  6. blueberrykisses

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    Honey, you do not have HIV. Calm down.
     
  7. Foz

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    From what you've described it is impossible that you or your cousin have HIV. You can only get it if you have unprotected sex with with an infected person, so if neither of you have the chance in 0%. If you need reassurance get yourself tested :wink:
     
  8. BluhImCourtney

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    Yeah, what they said. If neither of you had it, there's no way.





    HOWEVER.
    A common misconception is that it is only higher risk among the gay community. That is not true. It is not true that anal is the "only way". HIV can be contracted through semen, vaginal secretions, blood, breast milk... am I forgetting anything? ... oh, amniotic fluid. (The liquid in the embryo sack thing)

    So yeah, a straight guy can contract it, a straight female can get it, a gay guy/girl can get it, anyone can. It just so happens that rates seem higher among the gay community. Meh. ._.

    Just make sure you don't take drugs that use needles, and if you do, make ABSOLUTELY SURE they're clean before using them. Sharing needles is a common non-sexual way of getting HIV, due to the blood.
     
  9. joshy the queen

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    honey HIV and the whole infected thing is not a GAY disses not at all
    its a disease that came from african monkeys some african people used to eat them i'm not racist but it does go something like this when some african got married had kids etc etc they pass the disease so some africans went to america to live get married so it gets there and since hook ups are a norm thing for adults in america it got spread so fast straight people didn't get it faster or higher cause they used condoms and are more careful because of not wanting to get pregnant poor gay men thought that they don't need to use condoms or be careful with sex as there is no making someone pregnant so there are no safe sex rules etc etc .....
    so yes thats pretty much it if you get married to a virgin man or a woman or have sex with either of them you are 99% safe from HIV unless they carry them in their blood from the family (very uncommon) thats a 1% which is like 1 in a billion so dont worry im sure that you are cousin doesn't come from a family where they have HIV as a genetic disease and anyway HIV is only spread by blood touching yours or the infected Sperm not kissing not touching not even oral
    so pretty much sum it up to you NO YOU ARE NOT INFECTED WITH ANYTHING AS YOU DID NOT EVEN DO ANYTHING ALL YOU DID WAS MAKE OUT WITHOUT SOME CLOTHES ITS OK for that age
     
  10. Spartan 117

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    To echo what some of the others have said, I find it very unlikely if not impossible for you have to have contracted HIV from your childhood experiences. Unprotected anal sex is risky because the inner lining of the rectum is thin and may allow the virus to enter the body through semen exchange. Simply 'grazing' the skin from the outside would not spread the virus.

    You can only contract HIV from someone who is already infected - if this was the first sexual experience for both of you then it is simply impossible for you to have contracted it anyway. I very much doubt that at that age, either of you were sexually active outside of this experimentation.

    I suspect your own fears and insecurities are making you feel particularly anxious about this, but from what you've described, I doubt you have anything to worry about.

    Edit: As the poster below pointed out, sharing needles and other materials that have come into contact with other people's bodily fluids can also spread infection. But as you were children at the time, I very much doubt this was the case!
     
  11. BluhImCourtney

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    ... um. Joshy, I'm pretty sure if pre-ejaculate gets into someone's mouth during oral, and said pre-ejaculate is infected with HIV, it can still be transferred. Same thing if ACTUAL ejaculate gets in someone's mouth. So yeah, I think you can get it from oral, if said person was infected. (Which is highly unlikely in the OP's case)

    Also, Spartan... it isn't impossible for people non-sexually active. Remember, sharing needles and bloody stuff that hasn't been sterilized. But again, it's highly unlikely in the OP's case.
     
  12. Foz

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    You would have to drink nearly a litre of semen to get HIV from it, the virus cannot survive for long outside of the host's body and it wouldn't be until it reaches the stomach that it would be absorbed into the bloodstream. By which time the virus would have died.
     
  13. BluhImCourtney

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    ... so you don't know the expression "better safe than sorry"?

    And what if the person giving the oral has cuts in their mouth. ._. It can get in through there. I doubt your mouth doesn't have at least one cut in it.

    Sorry if it seems like I'm trying to instigate something, I just want people to be informed that it CAN happen, even if the chance is small. Not a scare tactic, just saying to use protection more if possible. ._.

    Sorry if it came across any other way.
     
  14. QueerTransEnby

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    Get tested to put your mind at ease. But your chances are slim to none. And you can say the words HIV and AIDS. Don't let the stigma scare you too much.