I myself am still a virgin and have no idea if or when I will lose my V-card and wanted to know how big of a deal it really is. I have been told that you only have one and that it should be given to someone special, but is this true or is it really not that important? along with this how do you define loss of virginity if you are gay because for heterosexual individuals it is penetration, so is this the same for everyone? Lastly, is there a certain time I should for or does that not matter?
It's a "big deal" for most people to have sex for the first time. Virginity is a weird thing because there are many kinds of sex. But supposedly it means straight vaginal intercourse. If you've only had gay sex, are you a virgin? How about oral? Once you get past your first time, you probably won't think of it much. Don't feel discouraged, you'll get there eventually. I lost my V-card at 17 and I wasn't particularly good looking or charming at that time. I know people far better looking than myself who lost their V-card well into their 20s, so sometimes losing it is just a case of right place, right time.
Hm, I'm not coming at this from an unbiased point of view. I dislike the way society values virginity, and even the words "losing" your virginity, as if it's a loss. It's true that there is a "first time" you have sex, and the next time won't be a "first," it will be a "second." Beyond that, though... Losing your virginity does not have to be a big deal. It does not have to happen with "someone special." It should happen with someone you want to have sex with, and ideally someone you feel comfortable and safe with. If you want your first time be "special," then there's nothing wrong with that. It just doesn't have to be. I am not a male, but my first sexual experiences ("loss of virginity") weren't special, which may color my opinion. Actually, they were with a guy, so they were heterosexual experiences -- but I definitely don't define virginity as lack of penetration! I "lost my virginity" because there was skin-to-genital contact with the intention of pleasing someone physically. Everyone has their own definition of virginity, which is why it's so flawed. The right time is when you're emotionally stable and sure of yourself, and there's someone you want to have sex with, and ideally there's no one else in the house. Other than that, anything goes.
Virginity isn't about penetration in general, It's about strict heterosexual intercourse between a penis and a vagina. So if the heterosexual definition applied to everyone, then you will always be a virgin because anal sex does not count in the heterosexual world. However, I find this definition to be silly and outdated and instead I define it as any sort of genital contact between two people. It's up to the individual to define it themselves. It doesn't have to be with someone special, and I don't like defining it as a loss anyway. If you regret it your first time it shouldn't be the end of the world. There are a lot of firsts in our life and almost all of them are crappy- but that doesn't mean it has to be a staining experience. Everyone is ready at different times. Just depends on emotional maturity.
Personally I think having sex (whatever sex you are engaging in) for the first time IS a big deal. Call me old fashioned You're sharing your body in a very intimate way with someone, you're trusting them with your body. It should be with someone who is worth it. That's just me though.
