Some of you may know about the fact that my mood constantly changes, not just minor changes though. One day I can be really happy and then the next I can pretty much be polar opposite, I also tend to switch between strong motivation to a lack of motivation which i have even been told is 'unhealthy'. More things which make me question my sanity is that one moment I can be quite social towards people, then the next moment I am cold, ruthless, anti-social and want to distance myself from all signs of human life. I guess you can understand that this makes some people a bit 'uncomfortable' around me. I have never been diagnosed with anything, and never really spoke to anyone properly, but I am speaking to a counsellor at some point next week, because in all honesty, I feel like I don 't belong and need help.
That sounds like bipolar disorder or cyclothymia to me. It's good you're going to see someone though, when my dad got depression he refused to see someone about it and it tore our family apart. Although he is getting help now I will never forgive him for letting his illness go untreated and letting it destroy my mother's life. Not to be depressing with my story, there's lots of help available. If you do have a mental illness it will be treatable and you can live a happy life.
If you ever wanna talk I'm here Yosia. I have extreme mood swings too. One day I can be all fireworks and joy and filled with energy and motivation, the other not wishing to live at all, anxious, panicky and generally depressed. I am yet to speak to my psychiatrist about it, but I've requested an appointment and I'm gonna try to be as honest as I can next time I meet her. You could well be bipolar. I did about five tests online for bipolar and scored extremely high on all of them. I'd recommend you to do one (I'm on the phone, can't link you. Just google bipolar test) Only a psychiatrist can make a diagnosis though.
Don't self diagnose with something that you think/want/might have, because even certified professionals sometimes have severe difficulties in diagnosing people with psychological problems. The worst part is that by self-diagnosing you are effectively forcing yourself to behave in the "appropriate" manner. Talk to your counselor about it, mood swings are very common among regular people especially if something's bothering you.
Thank you all for you responses. I did actually do a few of them online bipolar tests (not for a diagnosis, just out of interest) and the results were slightly worrying, but I'm not too surprised. Again, thank you for taking the time to reply~ I will talk to the counsellor about it, my only worry though is that I have never spoken to them before so they're new to me.
I also have motivation problems. I trick myself into thinking I'm procrastinating. Strangely, at times I can work for 48~ hours, with short breaks. There's usually no trigger for you other than talking to people and you begin feeling cold, ruthless, and anti-social? Sometimes I need to get away from people and recharge because I'm an introvert. Maybe it is a similar story for you. If it is bipolar disorder, then it's very, very rapid cycling, and I've yet to hear about such a case. It reminds me more of another disorder, but it would be dangerous to jump the gun with mental health. Plus I don't know if asking if you have a fear of abandonment, is going to get to the root of the problem. I'm glad you're seeing a councillor. Do you think you'll be able to clearly express these concerns with the counciller? Some people find it easier to write down their concerns and present the paper to the professional. I've seen a lot of medical professionals in my time and I don't remember all their titles. I remember being asked about what a typical day for me is like and being encouraged to keep a mood chart. I was even given information about taking care of my diet/exercise. Life can be a bitch to everyone, bipolar or not. Feel free to talk about it anytime with me. I'm not a professional, but I have a love/hate relationship with mania. I have periods of relative normalcy, so it gets even more confusing! Sometimes one minute I can think a person is amazing and the next minute I envision their spine crushed under my foot. It can be... interesting... especially when my feelings switch back and forth. My anger can be intense, but I usually get over it pretty quickly. I've even threatened to hit inanimate objects. It's an improvement because I used to break things under the influence of rage. I wasn't entirely honest at first with medical professionals and they suspected another disorder.
