How does one build sexual confidence? And how important is confidence in bed to you? I think creativity and communication go a long way and am working on building myself up. I've always had people try to make me feel guilty about having a high sex drive because its "not ladylike" or whatever but I say screw that! How sexually confident are you on a scale of 1-10?!
I suppose it depends on how exactly you define sexual confidence. What is it to you? Is it just not being nervous in bed, or is it taking initiative and not being afraid to try out new things? It's not like I have much experience in bed, but I've been uncomfortable in bed with someone before, and I've been very confident. Besides, confidence is all in the mind. I definitely agree with you on the communication thing -- but then, communication is the answer to everything. With that said, here are what I think are essential ingredients to sexual confidence (this is general advice, not specifically aimed at you, myheartincheck): - Banish all shame, now. Know there's nothing shameful about sex, whether it's a hookup or within a committed relationship. It isn't dirty and it isn't wrong. (In your case -- there's nothing shameful about a high sex drive.) - Address general self-esteem and body image issues. Not just "What if he doesn't like it? What if she can tell I'm inexperienced?" but the not directly related to sex stuff, too. Sexual confidence is halfway there when you feel sexy. - Know your body. I'm not sure if this is about confidence, rather than just plain good sex. But it's important, anyway. Know what you like, and don't be afraid to tell your partner. - Be attracted to your partner. Like, hella attracted. Then you'll just want to do everything. - Be honest. If it's your first time doing something specific and that makes you hella nervous, tell them. It will take some of the pressure off, and they'll probably find it hot. - Fake it 'til you make it/Practice makes perfect are both true. - Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Sex isn't just about the orgasm. It's about exploring each other's bodies... So try some new stuff, and maybe it works and maybe it doesn't, but so what? It will have been fun. - Read some erotica. What? It's nice. As for how sexually confident I am... It really depends on the partner. With the right person, I'm an 8, maybe a 9, because I trust them and I'm comfortable with them and hell, even if they don't like it I'll have learned something. With my first sexual partner, I probably never got above a 4 -- I had all the theory down, being a sex-positive person, but I just wasn't comfortable enough with him.
1 lol. I try new things but I never get to orgasm without taking ages and long after my partner. I still have some issues in that area... but yeah, practice makers perfect, so I'm patient.
Before I had sex I thought it would be like 2. But when I actually got to it I felt more comfortable and relaxed than I thought I would, me and my current (and so far only) sex partner have very nice chemistry in bed and an unpretentious approach to it. So with him I'm probably around 8 at least, I am confident in myself and he makes me feel even more confident. If I try sex with someone knew maybe I'm not confident at all. I think it depends much on the situation and who you're having sex with.
You're not alone. I have my stretches when I don't think about sex very often, but I go through phases when I can't get enough either. It's no one else's business anyways, and I'm not ashamed of it. And yes, in a relationship communication is so important..even something small, like having the confidence to admit to your partner what turns you on, is a sign of a healthy relationship.
Only been with one person. It would depend on how well I know someone. With a guy I don't know well I'd probably be a 5 or 6, with a guy I do know I'd be about 8-10, depends on the partner. Assuming I liked both guys and they liked me regardless of how well we knew each other. As for women? Never been with one, so I feel a lot less confident. I feel like I would suck at everything and just wouldn't be able to make them feel good. I'm not into the casual sex thing so probably wouldn't get much practice that way, but also feel scared of getting into a relationship with a girl in case I suck... My sex drive's pretty high too though.
I'm not really sexually confident...but I guess that's a good thing at my age. Lol When the time comes, I'll just be headstrong. I'll just break the wall of hesitation!
