So ever since i was a kid my parents always told me how love sucks and everything about it because theyre divorce you see well i grew up then people started touching me like hugs and ya know just friendly touching well i dont like being touched at all or hugs i never got hugs when i was younger like if it ever gotten one it was just because my mom felt extremely bad for me which most likely rarely happens and i had gfs too but when they touch me i feel scared and shakey like i just want to ran away i gotten broken hearts so i dont really want to be in my bed crying and moping all day like when someone hurts me. Im just scared of touching, im scared of relationships and i mean i gotten my first kiss but it was pretty bad because i kept backing away i dont know whats wrong with me and even when girls say "i love you" i can't believe them i do not know why but i cant i feel like theres a error in my brain and i can't understand what they have said.People say im a love hater and i dont give anybody chances but i just scared of everything about relationships and nobody ever gets that i hate having girlfriends because if i tell them i dont believe they like me they get mad. people have told me to find a girl to heal my heart but ever since the last person broke my heart i been just rejecting everybody and people say " i can just picture you with your wife!" And it scares me i dont want to get married because the bride wont even know anything about me im just a lame sophomore but i dont get why im so scared of love? I want a gf but who wants a gf that wouldnt believe they love them i just think in suited for this whole relationship "thing" i think about lesbian sex and my future wife alot because im just a silly lesbian girl with silly thoughts like when i was little i thought of being a princess which was really silly.
