I'm not sure if this post is appropriate but here goes: So I'm still technically a virgin at 23 and would like to give up my v-card. I have had oral sex with both my ex's (a girl and guy) but I have yet to have full penetrative sex because of my insecurities and lack of experience. In fact, I've been in denial with my sexuality for the longest time and have only started to fully embrace it and I think this is the primary reason why I've taken such a long time with my v-card. At 23, I feel that I've waited long enough and I've seriously considered hiring an escort/hooker just to get it over and done with. I've previously explored using apps like G***** but the whole G***** scene seems superficial and I get turned off when guys send me pictures of their dongs. :bang: It also doesn't help that I'm a racial minority (and young) in Australia and I often get fetished by older males ~30 - 40 years my age. At least with hiring a hooker, I don't have to deal with the whole G***** issue which really makes me feel uncomfortable. So what would be the best way to lose my v-card? Are there any tips on using G***** (especially how to be safe when using such apps) and all that? And do I necessarily have to put my face pic on it, as I'm quite apprehensive that someone whom I know would find out (I'm just out to the LGBT counsellor that I'm seeing and a few other people). Leo
First of all I would like to stress that virginity is a social construct. It does not exist. Secondly, if you choose for your own virginity to exist, you get to define that virginity and you get to chose what acts constitute a "loss" of it. As far as the best way to lose your virginity - do it the way you are most comfortable. I tend to not really get emotions tied up in sex, so I lost my virginity to a girl I wasn't in love with (we didn't even start dating until after that was said and done), and I don't personally regret that. It was an enjoyable experience for me and, from what I've heard, a lot more positive than most other people's experiences. If you think you're the kind of person who needs a deep emotional connection to have enjoyable sex, don't rush into this. Wait for a person who you truly care about and who cares about you. Soliciting sex from strangers on the internet is certainly easier said than done (as I'm sure you know by now). As for tips on safety, I would give out as little information as possible, meet them in a public place first to see how you feel, and (if you think they're okay) let someone know where you're going to be in case anything goes wrong. No, you don't necessarily have to put a picture of your face on it, but it might make it harder to actually find people.
Technically, you're no longer a virgin. But you are lacking experience in dating people, and that cannot be fixed by sleeping with a hooker. Is really having penetrative sex with anyone for the first time more important to you than finding someone you like?
I feel that being a virgin makes me less desirable or appealing to date, and I do feel like a loser having not experienced penetrative sex at 23 when most people had their's by 20-21. I'm really not into the hook-up scene tbh and prefer an intimate relationship with someone that I can connect with.
