I haven't hurt myself in well over two months.... and right now I have to. my problem is, I promised my bf that I would never ever do it again. I even gave him my razors. furthermore, the reason I wanna do iit is because he's been ignoring me for the past six or seven hours.... this just isn't him. he's either mad at me or his dad took away his phone for something dumb. I'm afraid that if I cut/burn myself, and he's already mad at me, he'll be even angrier and I hate when he's mad at me.. I can't lose him he's usually there to talk me out of it when i get like this but now he's not. I feel as though my entire life is falling apart... everyone I usually go to when I feel like this is asleep.... I don't know what to fucking do and I need help now before i do something incredibly stupid and lose the only person in my life that makes it worthwhile.
hey, i know it must be hard, i'm not going to claim to be going through what you are...but your boyfriend obviously deeply cares about you. if you hurt yourself your going to be hurting him. its not worth hurting him or those you care about.
First off, don't. I know it's not that easy and that you might not listen to me, but please, do not. Obbviously, your boyfriend cares about you. And everyone here does too. Someone's always here for you to talk to and help you. (*hug*)
The thing is, you call it self injury or self harm. In fact that is a lie. You're not the only one this will hurt. People always have a choice. There's the easy ones, hard ones, right ones and the wrong ones. Easy and right don't always mix. Good luck and stay strong - I'm sure you will get through this.
Firstly, it's good that you've bought yourself two months without hurting yourself. But you've got to think this situation over that's making you want to. 6-7 hours really doesn't seem like a long time. However you've been trying to contact him, there's probably a reason for him not replying. I don't think that's a long enough time to say that he's ignoring you. You've even said there that his Dad could have taken away his phone, or he could be asleep. I think you know that him ignoring you is probably quite unlikely. If you want to vent, either share your problems with us or feel free to PM me and I'll be happy to listen, it might help you get rid of some stress. If you haven't seen one already, it may be worthwhile going to see a counsellor or joining a self injury support group. (*hug*) Take care, you can get through this.
Hi there. I'm sorry to hear that you're so worked up about this. I can totally understand. In other threads here on EC we've talked before about cutting being like an addiction. I firmly believe that is true. People cut because it's a distraction or an escape from some of life's problems. It's a coping mechanism. Other people turn to sex or alcohol or drugs. But with all addictions, what is ironic about them is that the coping mechanism eventually becomes the primary problem in our lives as well. We can't stop, and we feel bad about it, and to avoid those negative emotions, we act out in our addiction again. It sounds like you've done a really great job in avoiding it for the past 2 months - and that's great. And whether or not you cut yourself last night or not doesn't really matter any more. It's all about what are you going to do today? Focus on today. On right now. In the long run, there are some things you can try to help yourself get over this problem - because you CAN get over this problem. Therapy really helps. I couldn't have overcome my addiction without my addiction counsellor. He know where I was coming from. He understood how powerful a grip it had on me. Like the people of AA discovered 80 years ago, the 12 steps of recovery help. I'm not sure if there is a 'cutting anonymous' group out there or not, but the fundamentals are the same in ANY 12 step group. Any kind of destructive behaviour can be helped by attending that kind of meeting. AA meetings are usually the most open, and I bet you could go to one of those and find some help. Find things that you like to do and enjoy doing. And do them. Have a list ready and turn to it when you have the urge to cut. If you want to discuss with me further, please contact me. I think I know where you're coming from. Lots of people here do.
I should have said a little more, he stopped replying to me in the middle of an argument.............
Well first off I think its blatentley retarded that your hurting yourself after being 2 months clean. Push those thoughts into the back of your head and bring the happier times of you and your boyfriend to the front. These can pause the emotions of hurting yourself, and focus your attention on less harmful things. I've gone through self inflicting pain. And I've been clean for almost 3 months. the last time I did it was when I was drunk on my birthday. But when your 30, will you want a scar to remind you of all the things life handed you? No you dont want to look at that scar and remenisce about all the bad things. You should want a clean body, with no reminders of your past. Good luck and keep strong...hope it all works out :]
well its too late for that... I have at least seven permanent svars thatll be with me forever....... when I made the decision to stop hurting myself, it was after almost six years of self-harm with no relapses in between. after cutting for six straight years two month doesn't seem that ling to me.... what's worse is that the urge to cut is still here after a whole day and after finding out my boyfriends phone was just broken.... I still am needing to cut.
