Hi, So this is kinda an embarrassing topic to bring up. I am a 19 year old male and have been masturbating since i was about 12 years old. However, I have never had an orgasm and fully ejaculated before. I can get the clear "pre-cum" to come out, but i'll be masturbating for about an hour or so and I still won't ejaculate. I sometimes masturbate to gay porn or male images online. Or I'll try sexting with someone online with no luck. It doesn't help a whole lot for me to just lie down and fantasize something to masturbate to. So is there something wrong with me? Am I trying too hard to ejaculate that I'm missing the whole point of masturbation? Or maybe it'll happen for me once I actually have sex for the first time? Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
I also have a lot of trouble finishing, due mostly to my medication. Are you taking any medications? Some fairly common medications have unfortunate sexual side effects.
Not that I know of. Just Zyrtec for my allergies. I'm also taking another medication for my acne. I may have to look into the side effects
Do look into the side effects of the meds, but it seems like you may have an underlying sexual issue. If you have only had pre-cum since 12, you might have a real medical problem. I would bring it up with your doctor. Also, there are several sites for different techniques(none that I will share, they are easy to find), but it doesn't sound like you don't have a problem with methods. How has the rest of your puberty gone? Do you have pubic hair, voice change, muscle development etc.?
Do you have dry orgasms (Google if you are not familiar with this term)? Have you been told you had genital or urinary tract surgery when you were a chil or baby? If so you may be intersexed. Many parents were advised be their doctor not to tell there children. I agree with biguy8, I think it is important you see a doctor. Given your age there is a good chance you are still on your parents health insurance. However you still have a right to privacy with regard to what you talk to your doctor about. Make sure and tell your doctor all medications, supplements, alcohol, cigarettes and drugs you use.
Puberty was just fine. I went through pretty much all the stages of it. I have all my pubic hair, my voice changed properly, and muscle development was just fine. I had absolutely no problems with it. I have no idea if I have dry orgasms. I don't exactly know what a proper orgasm is supposed to feel like. I just masturbate until I feel satisfied, get tired, or bored of trying to get myself to fully ejaculate. I definitely was not born intersexed or had any genital or unitary tract surgery. Yeah my problem with seeing the doctor is that whenever I go have a meeting with the doctor one of my parents always comes with me to make sure everything is ok. I also don't feel comfortable speaking to a doctor about this. I've searched online for any medical conditions that could prevent orgasms, but didn't have much luck.
Is there a male on this forum who can describe what an orgasm feels like in a clinical way? Being female I don't think my description of what an orgasm feels like would help much. I have limited experience in viewing a man ejaculate for obvious reasons, but I thought some guys were squirters and some more like dribblers. Is it possible you do orgasm and ejaculate but you assumed it was just precum since it did not squirt out like a porn star? Isn't this normal for some guys? I am generally all about being honest, but I think most 19 YO would be too embarrassed to talk to this issue with their parents. Therefore I would like you to consider making up a small white lie about what you need to go to the doctor. Tell them you think you might have a bladder infection or you have a rash in an embarrassing place. I doubt they would expect you to show them a rash on your balls before they make an appointment. At 19 years old they should not be following you into the exam room, even if they are driving you to the appointment. When you get called into the exam room from waiting room you can say "Mom/Dad, that's OK you can wait here during the appointment" or "Mom, I am 19 YO I can go in the exam room on my own. I will let you know if I need to stop by the pharmacy." The medical assistant and doctor will not allow anybody in the exam room that you do not give permission to be there because you are legally an adult. Parents often have a hard time realizing their kids are growing up, and developmentally it is completely normal to tell your parents that at 19 YO you do not need them to follow you into the exam room even if you are only being seen for an ear infection. Please see a doctor, I want to make sure you are OK and I want you to have a healthy happy sex life.
First, this problem isn't as uncommon as you might think. A surprising number of people have difficulty with orgasm and ejaculation. Second, as awkward as it might be to discuss, there's nothing inherently wrong, shameful, or embarrassing about discussing masturbation, orgasm and ejaculation. It is a natural, normal part of who we are, and there's actually evidence that it is necessary in that it creates brain chemistry stimulation, cardiac protection, and other positive benefits that can't be achieved by other means. It's embarrassing only because society has made it an uncomfortable topic. It might be sensible to see a doctor to discuss the issue, and at the same time, I can see why it could be really uncomfortable to talk to a doctor about it. If I were to guess, I would doubt, assuming you're able to get erections normally, that there's a physiological problem at work here. So it's worth getting checked, but if that idea is mortifying to you, it might be OK to explore some other possibilities first. As far as what orgasm feels like, generally speaking (and this varies for each person) it is pretty obvious when you've had an orgasm. It feels noticeably different -- much more intense -- than the pleasant sensations most people get simply from masturbating. There is a distinct sensation of getting close to orgasm, and then, during the actual orgasm, there's a particular period, usually just a few seconds, where your feel the muscles in your pelvis involuntarily contracting and then relaxing a dozen or so times, in much the same way it feels when you contract muscles to stop the flow of urine when peeing. There is also a pretty strong rush for most people of endorphins, giving you a momentary mood lift... which then, for some, drops dramatically as soon as orgasm is complete. If you aren't experiencing that sensation, you aren't reaching orgasm. I've talked to men who it takes 30 or 45 minutes or longer to achieve orgasm, and even at that, they don't consistently orgasm. I've talked to others who can orgasm after just a minute or two of stimulation... and a small number who can orgasm without touching themselves at all. All of this is within the spectrum of 'normal' but not being able to orgasm at all is not. If you are not experiencing orgasm at all, if you PM me I can point you to some resources and suggestions that might help. My guess is this is not so much a physiological problem as a combination of mood, psychological mindset, and perhaps other easily addressable things.
Yeah my parents definitely still treat me as if I'm 13. I am the youngest in the family, so they're having a tougher time of giving me independence. yeah I already have enough social anxiety as it is, so it would be extremely difficult/uncomfortable for me to speak with a doctor about this. I am able to get erections normally, so that's why i'm not sure if it's a physiological problem. I think it could be a psychological problem like what you're suggesting. Yeah I've masturbated with my best friend (he's straight) to porn and he usually orgasms within 20 minutes, and I can never get an actual orgasm, just pre-cum. I've talked with another good friend of mine about this (he's straight), and he said he had the exact same issue. It wasn't until he started having sex with women when he was able to achieve an orgasm. It would still take up about an hour to do it though. I'm just hoping there's nothing seriously wrong with me.
From what you are describing, I would guess that the social anxiety may also have a component of generalized anxiety that could be impacting arousal for you. This should be a very solvable problem, and you shouldn't have to start having sex to make the problem go away... though I could see why that would work.
Well I'm definitely not having sex for a long time now. Not exactly ready for that yet. But I do deal with a lot of anxiety which could be a legit issue. I might also be trying too hard to orgasm when I masturbate. I think I need to stop thinking about finishing so much to myself and just relax a bit and enjoy the ride.
That's a really good idea. When you let go of the need to orgasm (and this is true in sex as well), you take the pressure off, and it's actually easier.
Yeah I might try it tonight and see how it goes. I'll look up any other masturbation techniques and see if any of those might help as well.
