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A...distorted sense of self?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Bunny, Dec 29, 2008.

  1. Bunny

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    Okay, I've searched the internet as best I can, but I just can't seem to find what I'm experiencing.

    It just happened to me. It only happens every once in a while, but it's...mind-blowing. The closest thing I could compare it to would be Depersonalization, but it's still not the same.

    It comes on suddenly, usually when I'm stressed or anxious. It's a really bizarre, disturbing sensation. It's a realization. It's not as if I'm...outside my body, but trapped inside it. Like I'm trapped inside my mind...with myself? Only it feels like that other 'self' is an entirely different person. Not a split personality, but another part of me or something, idk.

    Kinda like they're the 'me' on the surface and then the true me, who is more like an observer who sees everything through my eyes. Ugh, does that make ANY sense? It freaks me the fuck out every time it happens.

    Might help to know that I have a LOT of mental illness in the family. My own mother is schizophrenic, bipolar, and depressed. (I've got that last one so far xD)

    EDIT: I did a bit more research, and it sounds like it very well could be Depersonalization. Does anyone else ever experience this?
     
    #1 Bunny, Dec 29, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2008
  2. summersforecast

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    Don't start off thinking your crazy ok, I'm sure it's perfectly normal I have never heard of this but I pride myself on my knowlege so I will learn like I said the worst thing you could do is worry alright?
     
  3. Ben

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    It's probably best if you feel this way to go see someone who can help figure things out for you. And it's also best not to diagnose yourself with mental illnesses.
    The internet helps up to a point but a specialist will be more informed and will be able to base diagnosis and treatment on your particular circumstance. So I would recommend going to a specialist for this. :slight_smile:
     
  4. Yeah anyone trained in psychology will tell you not to diagnose yourself. Our teacher told us that near the end of class. But yeah it may be in your best interest to go see a professional.
     
  5. Bunny

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    But assuming it is something along the lines of Depersonalization, it's not really a mental illness. It's just...a sensation that can occur when you're stressed or anxious. Apparently it's actually pretty common. But I do intend to bring it up with my counselor (why doesn't that word look right?) next time I see her.
     
  6. MedGuy211

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    What you're describing is a textbook description of depersonalization, which can happen with, or without, that "out of body" sensation. And you're right lyingfigure. It's not a diagnosis, it's just a psychological phenomenon and it is pretty common to one extent or another. A lot people experience this when put under enough stress. (myself included). It's not necessarily a sign of a mental illness.

    But, if it concerns you, which is perfectly understandable, I'd encourage you to talk to a counselor, a specialist or even your normal doctor about it.
     
  7. starfish

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    /me raises hand.

    I have this also. The best way I can describe it is like I'm a spectator in my own life and my body is an autonomous robot.

    I went through a very bad bout of this a hair of over 3 years ago. It lasted for just over a year and got really bad the last 3 months. Everyday it just felt my I was losing more of my grasp on sanity and just knew that one day I would wake up a crazy raving lunatic. I had no feeling, I really could not taste food and nothing really gave me pleasure. I also had this feeling that I was becoming some kind of a super human that did not need a physical body and completely existed as only a conscientiousness. The whole time I did not have any problem telling reality from fantasy and my logic and comprehension skills where still in place. The worst part was when I would talk to someone. I would hear myself speak but I had no idea who was thinking of the words I was saying.

    I was in a very stressful situation toward the end. Still dealing with losing my mother to cancer, stuck in a job I hated, had just wrecked my truck and was broke, I was failing one of my college classes, and then to top it off I could not figure out why I did not want to have a relationship with this beautiful, smart, and funny woman I met that liked me. It was pretty much the perfect storm in my life. I was not in a position to seek professional help so I turned to a support forum I found on the net. They helped me get through it and I found a new job that was a much better environment and paid well helping to remove a lot of the stress I was under.

    It will still come back during periods of extended stress but it has not been as bad as it was back then. Now it seems to last only a couple of hours but a day at the most. I'm not a medical professional but from my experiences it seems to be some sort of defense mechanism our brain has. Everyone I talked to about it was going through a lot of stress and had been through significant trauma in their life, so I definitely think there is a cumulative effect. So if it just pops up for a little while from time to time I would not worry, but if it lasts more than a day I would suggest seeking help. Had I been able to get help I think they could have helped be through many of factors that cause it to get so bad for me.
     
  8. Nixon

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    no do too a psychiatrist


    U have free health care
     
  9. Brandford

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    I think i know what your talking about, but dont think its a big problem, it happens to me so often it really doesnt bother me, i actually kind of like it but i may be thinking of something else
     
  10. Bunny

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    Wow starfish, that's...'bizarre' is the only word that comes to mind.

    For me it usually lasts only a few minutes at the most, I couldn't imagine it going on for any longer than that.
     
  11. Lexington

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    I do something similar, but it's intentional. I try to pull myself out of my body, and look at me like a marker on a board game. "Given the situation, what's the best move to make?" It helps keep me from getting too overly emotional about whatever fix I'm currently in.

    Occasinally, I'll find myself pulling back - WAY back - and viewing my life as a timeline. And then that whole "death" thing stares me in the face. At that point, I try to push the other direction, and get back to LIVING my life instead of observing it. Death doesn't bother me when I'm busy living. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  12. Jesse Jinx

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    It happens to me sometimes. I have moments where I'm stressed where I'm outside me. Can't really put a finger on it, but it's how I've come to deal with stress lately. I can remeber the frist time it happened, it was a last ditch effort to avoid having an anxiety attack. I just stepped back, looked in a mirror, and then suddenly... I was in the mirror looking at the girl freaking out in front of me. It's happened a few more times afterwards, and I'm almost grateful for it.

    If you want to understand it more, probably someone who is experienced with this kind of thing would be the best to go to. Keep us posted. <3
     
  13. Meet me at our special place.....

    YOU LIKE SILENT HILL 2!!!
    :grin:

    I LIKE YOU PERSON WHO SITS WITH YOUR MIND WHEN STRESSED OUT!!!
    LETS BE FRIEND?! :]
     
  14. starfish

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    I think that is as good a word as any. Looking back on it, I have no idea how the hell I managed to make through that period. Glad I did though. Things are much better now.
     
  15. SpacerX

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    i used to always experience spells depersonalization when I was younger, hasn't happened lately too much. it's a cool sensation sometimes, if a little weird
     
  16. I get something like that sometimes... I'm not really separated from myself, but I go for long periods of time without metacognition. When I do become fully conscious, I feel like I've been sleeping. Mirrors often wake me up because I look in them, kind of wonder who that is, then realize it's me, or just think that can't be me, but it is.
     
  17. randombelle

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    dont worry yourself too much with it. go to your doctors and discuss it with them. It's the best thing you can do. It'll take a weight of your shoulders
     
  18. Bunny

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    ...That's a good way of putting it. xD

    And yes, SH2 is high up on the list of favourites. <3
     
  19. Sugar

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    wow.. sounds like Enlightenment to me lol. It actually sounds really amazing to be able to see your "self" as an observer. Maybe I misunderstood but I can see how that could be freaky as well.
     
  20. Mana

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    I don't know if this is related, but a lot of the time I feel like I'm not me, I'm a person I made up, and that everything I do or say or think is fake. I think it's because I used to be really different from how I am now, and I changed so suddenly, from quiet shy Mana to loud annoying Mana.

    Also, if I'm being paranoid about something, I can recognise that I'm being paranoid, but I can't do anything about it. It's like there's a part of me that feels paranoid and depressed and worries all the time, then a logical part of me that can see the first part of me is an idiot, but can't do anything. Just sits round with a clipboard taking notes.

    Wow I have issues :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: