Kind of. So I started masturbating at 22, using a soft blanket, and never did anything sexual until 25. I've never solely gotten off from sex, mostly because I'm not using my comfort object, and only I know how to get myself off. When I mutually masturbate with a friend, I don't use anything but my hand, and it's difficult and rough on myself. I figured out that the "issue" is that my dick is extremely insensitive (also my butthole, nipples, and mouth - yayy). It takes a LOT of work to get off, plus - it's mostly mental, anyways. This is the reason it took me until 22 to orgasm, because I didn't know how much work it required! I was able to do it okay, but during one particularly active week, I wanked so hard that I was bleeding down there. Doctor gave me some wonderful ointment, and I'm fine. I tried mutual masturbation with a friend, but couldn't do it without a soft blanket... sigh. He suggested lube, but last time I used it, it felt way too foreign and cold and did not help at all. Any tips on where to start without any ouchies? I'd prefer not to use any aids at all (especially since I don't have room for a blanket in my pockets), but it looks like I might have to? Hmm....
Hm. Well, in terms of 'aids', you might try a silk handkerchief - small, designed to fit in a pocket, and a good quality silk can feel both somewhat soft and very slippery (and if you're doing mutual masturbation, you've got your cleanup right there). I'm not sure how it reacts to extended periods of friction, so a certain amount of awareness is probably in order if/when you try it for the first time. Beyond that, while I know you said that lube felt 'foreign and cold', but there are many kinds of lubes and there might be some that are more to your taste or ways of making them more palatable to you. Some thoughts: a) Some lubes are marketed as warming or may be amenable to warming. Also, there are various massage oils used in professional massage therapy that are designed to be warmed (by putting the bottle in warm water I think) and would probably work just fine as a lube. Something to research perhaps. b) Even with a 'average' lube, you could try warming it in your hand before applying it. c) There is a product called 'albolene' that is a whipped mineral oil. It is marketed as a makeup remover and available in good size pharmacies and online (at least in the US). It is also pretty much the lube of choice in the edging (extended masturbation) community. This because it both holds heat fairly well and stays slippery for a long, long time (note that it will get a little tacky if mixed with pre-cum, but adding a little of it clears that right up). Speaking of edging... You might try edging. Most masturbation is focused on getting to the orgasm as quickly as possible. But it's possible for the journey to be the best part of that trip. Rather than focusing on cumming, instead relax, take your time, and focus more on just evoking enjoyable sensations from your body (not just your penis, but all of it if that's your thing). Don't feel any pressure to cum. In fact, the goal here is to get as close to orgasm as possible without actually 'going over the edge' and then maintaining that state while enjoying the sensations and the pleasure/pain of really wanting to finish, but not letting yourself. If you want, you might even stop for a while and do other things before getting back at it again some time later. It's possible to go hours (and some guys apparently go a day or two) in this state before actually finishing. A significant minority of guys are into edging so finding someone to play with in this manner (if you want) is also quite possible. Finally, you might think about exploring both your fantasy life and other forms of arousal beyond 'basic' masturbation. This might include roleplaying, bondage of some sort, toys, or whatever it is that really gets your libido up and running. The idea being that if your level of mental arousal is high enough then your physical level may follow suit and getting off may be easier for you. Maybe even more intense. Hope this helps, Todd
This is the greatest stuff EVER. I'm not an edger...well, not by choice, I just take forever. And I love Albolene for this reason. It also makes the skin on my dick soft. You can buy it at CVS.
