I once had 'phone sex' with my ex-girlfriend and I regret it as much as I would if I had really had sex with her. It was long distance - two years ago. She was two years older than me at the time. The event still chews me up. The advice I need is - any ideas on how I can get over myself? :tantrum: I know that this is a really stupid thing to be all hung up over.
Oh I had phone sex years ago before I had a cell phone. I cringe when I think about it because I was so young. Why did you personally regret it?
Well the important thing is that you can look back on it now with more clarity. Maybe it was a mistake back then, but you didn't fully understand that going into it. You didn't know you'd feel bad afterwards when you did it. It's just something you did when you were younger and now you know better. The same goes for many, many things that people do. You can also look at it as a learning experience. It was something you tried, but now that you've done it, you know it's something you're not ready for and that's okay. Sometimes there are just things you need to try before you know how they'll make you feel and now you know.
It's not stupid at all. You are paying attention to your feelings and that's a good thing to do. You probably shouldn't be chewing over it so much, but dismissing it as trivial and irrelevant would be the more stupid thing to do, because you'd be more likely to repeat the mistake again. I'm nearly 40 and I'm still learning things about myself - that's part and parcel of living. I have made plenty of mistakes and I have regrets too, but I've learned from them and that's the most important thing of all. It doesn't stop me from making new mistakes from time to time, but I'm only human, just like you. Don't beat yourself up about this. Your feelings are telling you something and if you pay attention to them you will not repeat the mistake again. That's a positive thing.