I'm finally out of the closet and I'm ready to date. However, as I have posted here numerous times, I have body image issues. I don't want to be so melodramatic about it this time, but I will briefly explain why I feel this way. My penis is 5.5 inches long and of normal girth, and I have stretch marks literally all over my butt. With my clothes on I'm comfortable if not confident in the way I look. There isn't too much I would change. But the thought of sleeping with someone terrifies me! To be more specific, the fear is that my penis is too small for anyone to want me to be a top, and my butt is so unattractive that no one will want to top me. Is that a superficial worry? Another concern I have is that I have become so used to stimulating my prostate while masturbating that I can't really climax without doing so, therefore I'm kind of a bottom by default. I don't know if that will be an issue. I'm not posting this on anon because I think it's important for men to be more open about these issues. And I'm honestly not interested in sleeping around, but I feel the only issues keeping me from dating are these body-related fears. Bringing these things up with a partner or a potential partner is sure to make me seem like a crazy person! Please be honest with me: should I just get used to the idea of being celibate and alone for life?
I feel like a common piece of advice would be, "If they don't like you for you, then they aren't right for you." While this may make people who are looking for stronger advice roll their eyes, in my experience it is very very true. 5.5 is fine, it is certainly bigger than plenty of guys. Ironically enough, the people that I've hooked up with in the past have all had large penises, but the ones that I've dated have had smaller ones than you, and I prefer to bottom. AS for being a bottom by default, if you really believe that is true than I'm not sure that your penis size really matters.
I know it's ridiculous that I need so much external validation, but getting these kinds of responses really does help me. I do think I'm getting better, psychologically. I'm very newly out of the closet, and that in itself has improved my emotional state tremendously. Maybe when I have some actual dating experience I'll feel more confident. I've only dated girls, and I've avoided physical intimacy with them like the plague. I always told myself it was because my body wasn't good enough. Little did I know it was latent homosexuality :lol:. Of course the thought of being with a man has brought about all kinds of new excitement. I don't know that I necessarily have to be a bottom; all I know is that when I use fingers my fingers in the back and the front (I couldn't think of a more tactful way to put that) it's so much more pleasurable that I don't bother with regular masturbation anymore.
As far as your penis size... 1) If you're giving someone oral sex, the size of your penis doesn't matter. 2) If you're receiving oral sex, the size of your penis doesn't matter except possibly if you want them to deep throat you, in which case that might be a bit of a challenge (may vary with the skill of the person giving the oral sex). But there are plenty of other very nice things they can do for you orally besides that, that will feel awesome. 3) If you're bottoming, the size of your penis doesn't matter. 4) If you're topping, the main goal is to stimulate the nerves around the opening and the prostate. And you should be plenty big enough for that. If a partner is just really wanting to be impaled on something - they make toys for that. 5) If you're doing mutual masturbation, the size of your penis doesn't matter as long as they can get a grip on in that you enjoy. And so on and so forth - the range of activities in which penis size plays any kind of significant role is really very small and there are plenty of alternate activities. Really, the whole penis size thing is more of a psychological thrill than anything else and once the novelty wears off, whether or not a guy is a considerate and attentive lover is going to be a lot more important than the size of what he's got between his legs. There are some guys for whom that aspect of things is really important - but most guys are just going to be happy that you've brought a penis to the party and that it's happy to see them As far as the stretch marks issue - For most anal sex positions, a guy isn't really going to be in a position to see your butt very much once he's entered you. And if he likes you enough to want to enter you and you like him enough to want him to - he shouldn't be offput by something like that. As far as being a bottom by default - maybe yes, maybe no. The sensations you get from another person doing something sexual to you can be markedly different from what you experience doing the same act to yourself (assuming you can). There's also the factor of what the other person is into. I'd suggest keeping an open mind at this point and seeing what shakes out as your preferred activity/role (vs what you are feeling obligated to do or that you have to settle for when contemplating things from a theoretical perspective). My 2c worth, Todd
Those are all good points. I mean, I can reach my prostate with my index finger, and it ain't nearly as big as my penis. So I don't know why size would matter at the end of the day. Not too be too graphic, but I can wrap both my hands around it and have just a little left over, so the other acts you brought up should not be a problem either. Honestly, as cheesy as it sounds, I'm a very romantically inclined person. And not to get off on too much of a tangent, but my fantasies aren't about some hook up so much as they are about passionate love making—and I don't want my body's differences to get in the way of that. I want to be with someone who can genuinely look at me with that passion in their eyes. I don't know if that makes sense or not, and I'm sure it sounds sappy as hell. :lol:
If a person loves you, body won't matter. At all. Just keep that in mind. EDIT: If it did matter, then I guess that's not (true) love.
