So I happened to hook up with this guy I've known for a little over a year yesterday and during us fooling around his slipped inside me for about 5 seconds while bare. I told him immediately to put on a condom and after digging for a while he found one and put it on. About 10 minutes later I felt something weird and looked back and the condom was off and he was in yet again without it which caused me to freak out and go into panic mode. He didn't cum inside me but I'm still scared I could have been infected through pre-cum. He doesn't pre-cum much at all. Maybe a drop or two at max. But could this potentially be enough to infect me if he is positive? He says he isn't and I begged him to run down the street with me to do a quick 5 minute test and he refused to but said he would go with me today. I'm scared he's going to flake though and I'll have 6 weeks of worrying about whether or not I have HIV now.
I am sorry to say but there is no empirical data showing the rates of HIV transmission through Pre-Ejaculate or Pre-Cum. In saying that HIV has been detected in the pre-ejaculate of HIV-positive men. However pre-ejaculate fluid is believed to have less viral count and thus lower infectivity. Little is known about levels of HIV in pre-ejaculate and how it relates to HIV levels in blood or semen. However, because HIV has been detected in pre-ejaculate it means there is a possible risk for transmission. As for bottoming the general risk estimate from anal sex, if top has HIV, is around 1 in 200. Therefor unprotected anal sex carries a significant transmission risk. Worldwide unprotected sex accounts for 90% of HIV cases. In saying that although yes there is little proof if any that HIV has been transmitted through means of pre-ejaculatory fluid. There is no 100% reassurance that it is not possible. The best way to allay your fears is to get tested.
I am not sure about how things are in your country but in mine (and I believe that thing is international) you can't actually have any accurate test result before 3 months after the unsafe sexual relationship, because like pregnancy it needs time for the illness to appear and show in your blood, so while you can get tested any time, there is high chance of the test being inaccurately negative if you do not wait the 3 months mark (and yes 3 months is long !). I have a friend who couldn't get tested because she had only one unsafe relationship and it was less than a month prior to the day we went to get tested so they told her to come back in 2 months. I know there is some kind of treatment to prevent AIDS in case of suspicions of infections, but it's a very heavy treatment with side-effect and all so I think they only offer it to people who have unprotected sex with someone who is known to have HIV, or if the partner of the person is high risk ( drug addict for example etc...). Still go to the AIDS center and ask for infos, they know better than me. Good luck and I am sure you'll be fine !
There really isn't much information, but I would highly recommend you get rid of this guy. Don't be with someone who disrespects your wishes. I don't care if you both were tested a week ago; you have every right to your safety when someone is inside of you. I am sorry this happened.
I definitely plan on never speaking with him again after this but I'm now trying to get him to reply to my text so I can take him to go get tested today and he's refusing to reply. There's no way this could qualify under rape with him removing the codom against my will is there?
That's going to be somewhat of a gray area. As far as your fear, talk with your doctor. They may have some advice on if you should get on PEP, or not. I'm going to say, though, if ythis is the only single incident, your risks are relatively low. Think of it as a learning experience to be more selective with your partner's.
Here is what you need to know about HIV: The virus is carried in the blood, lymph, and in the body's reproductive secretions (cum, pre-cum, and vaginal secretions). It is not carried in saliva, though giving unprotected oral sex does still put you at risk because you are coming into contact with seminal fluid. The only time when kissing puts you at risk is if the person you're kissing has bleeding gums, an open sore inside their mouth, or a cold sore. For the same reason, drinking or eating after an infected person does not put you at risk. My advice to you right now is this: Do not rely on your sexual partners for your health. Get tested yourself as soon as you are able. As for this guy, the fact that he won't engage in proected sex means that he cares more about his satisfaction than your safety. It means that he is selfish and you should cease all contact with him, especially sexual contact. YOU DESERVE BETTER. No matter what, you deserve someone who respects your safety and your needs. Remember that your body is your own. You always have the right to say no, and you always have the right to stop. Final advice: Use a condom every time, always, no matter what, forever. You should have a condom out and ready before you start taking your clothes off. Because this is so important, you have to take responsibility for your safety and get your own condoms. A lot of clinics have free ones. It's also important to have open, honest conversations with your sexual partners about safety and your individual needs BEFORE things get hot and heavy. Talk about what your expectations are, what you need to feel safe, how you want it to feel afterwards. Do you want him to stay and cuddle and talk? Do you want him to shake your hand and leave? Talk about it. Know what you want, and know how to communicate it. You should also know that people who are HIV positive can still have meaningful, safe, healthy, and satisfying sex lives. Good luck. Take care of yourself.
