Not sure if this is the right place to post but...

I think I know how you feel. I'm usually pretty laid back and I tend to make jokes at my own expense. But if someone uses gay in the derogatory sense I feel bad. I don't get physically ill or anything but I'm still kinda offended. And I know usually it's no big deal but I'm still kinda mad for a little bit. Which may be part of why I'm not out to more people. I dunno. Anyways I'm rambling. Hopefully some of this made sense

 

The word "queer" was causing me a lot of discomfort. When I was growing up that word was always used in a derogatory way. Now I seem to be getting past that.

 

Yeah, since I started questioning I had thought I'd become very accepting and cool about not being straight, but then there are some instances and situations I'm in where I realized I still have a lot of inner anxiety about it and I don't feel ready to accept it so I can see where you're coming from. I guess what has helped me (at least I think it's helpful) is just immersing myself in LGBT+ culture and other peoples' lives more, like coming on EC and talking to people with the same problems, or watching LGBT+ youtubers, stuff like that to remind you that you're not alone and even though it seems like it you're not abnormal. You're completely normal and you just have to get that in your head (and so do I).
Hopefully in time, you'll get more and more used to the idea and know it's what makes you happy and you'll feel better.
Also it makes sense that people saying gay makes you feel weird. We don't label straight people as straight all the time, so just labeling someone as gay kind of makes it weird, so just try not to pay attention to that. That may be how other people feel, but you are you and you're not different or "the gay one", you're just you and you like what you like same as everybody else.

 

Sounds like you have a bit of internalized homophobia to sort through. Seems to be a common thing to deal with. There are a bunch of threads on it, do a search.

Given all of the negative perceptions, even In today's increasingly accepting environment, getting comfortable with yourself is more than just accepting your sexuality, it's embracing and being comfortable with it. No doubt, this can take some time. But I do believe recognition is a large part of the battle!