Hello guys, I know some of you may not like this idea but me an my twin brother was experimenting with hand jobs today and I found it really hard to get erect.We were practicing stop and go and my penis went soft immediately.I have been having erections nearly all day and this may be the cause.All I was thinking about was trying to get a big erection and do ye think this is the problem?When I masturbate on my own I can keep an erection very easily and ejaculate easily. Was I thinking too much about it?Or is it just that I do not have an attraction to my brother? I felt awkward by the idea f my brother giving me a handjob at first but I thought I got over it.I think I am still bisexual because I can imagine having sex and a relationship etc with a man and a girl. Is it because I was thinking too much about my brother? Thanks, TheBiBoy
Hi. Sexual arousal is a nuanced mix of physical, psychological/emotional, and mental states. Any one of those can potentially "derail the train." It's also quite common for guys as they are first exploring their sexual selves with any other person, to have some anxiety or nervousness, even though it often isn't really conscious. Many, many guys have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, or ejaculating, the first time they are with a partner (or a friend.) Finally, society imprints a pretty strong message on us that sexual behavior with family members is wrong, so it's quite possible that this is an unconscious message. I wouldn't draw any conclusion about your sexual orientation or attraction as a result of this. Also, one thing that's really important here: While there are likely plenty of brothers that have masturbated together, it's really, really important that both of you are completely OK with what's going on and that neither of you feels in any way pressured or convinced. Even though you're twins... sometimes one or the other of you can feel pressured or guilted to do something, and when it comes to doing this sort of stuff, it's really, really crucial that this not be the case. It's a little awkward to talk about, but if you plan to do it again, for both of your mental health and well being going forward, please have at least some sort of conversation about it so one or both of you don't internalize any sense of violation, mistrust, or anything that could inhibit your sexual feelings in the future.
I still cannot get erect.Is there anything I can do?I try to stop thinking about getting the erection but since last night I can't stop thinking about it to get relaxed and aroused.I used to get aroused and erect just about thinking about my crushes and now today I thought about them and no erection. I don't know how to tell my parents I need to see my doctor.Its not Like I can tell them "I was masturbating with my brother yesterday"
Chip, I am curious, can you provide some insight as to what the potential ramifications might be if someone was actually coerced or pressured with this sort of stuff?
"Rome wasn't built in a day". When I started fooling around with my friend around 13-14, we started small. We dry humped with all of our clothes on. The next time we dry humped with underwear on, then we tried to give each other hand jobs. But we didn't think, we just acted. Now, I am glad we didn't go all the way at the start, and I am not saying to check your brain at the door. But you should talk with each other about what you want to do and what is off limits before you start. That way when you are intimate, the expectations are set, and you can enjoy. You don't have to go to handjobs right off the start. Body massage/touching hair/kissing/petting can warm you up. If you can't get it up for a day or so, that's not all that unusual. Don't overthink things, provided that they are safe. If it doesn't work out one time, it doesn't work out. You can't force intimate acts nor should you. It sounds like you have plenty of privacy and some time before either one of you would move out. Good luck. Be safe.
Kissing is seen by most to be romantic, and those other things can be seen in that light as well. As someone who has a twin, I would say that's safely out the window for the overwhelming majority of twins.
The research and clinical data is pretty clear on this issue: most of the damage from sexual abuse is psychological, and the majority of that comes from the combination of a violation of boundaries and exploitation of trust and vulnerability. Essentially, the child or teen who feels pressured or coerced into participating in some sort of sexual act will feel intense shame and violation. The effects aren't much different from rape. And it can take years or decades, and a lot of therapy, to repair the damage, depending on the severity and the resilience of the individual. Untreated, it can have devastating long-term effects on the ability to sustain healthy relationships. Teen sexual play isn't inherently bad as long as both parties are genuinely equally engaged in participation.
I don't think you need to jump to any conclusions and seek out therapy quite yet. It's quite possible the anxiety about difficulty with arousal is, itself, contributing to the difficulty with arousal. I'd suggest you just relax, don't worry about masturbating for a couple days, and most likely everything will come back to normal. If not, check in in a few days.
LOL! That is kind of who I am. I panic and panic. I just have anxiety issues. I try to help it but it's hard!
Pleased to hear it. Yes a lot of people have different opinions about brothers experimenting, but the truth of the matter is that it does happen. This site should be non-judgemental so please feel free to post as you need to, we are all here to support you and talk through it with you. The main thing that has been said so far is that it needs to be something that both you and your twin are happy with. Are you both gay or is it just with each other at the moment? Jamie xx
Update: My penis seems to have shrunk since that night.It was bigger than it usually is and now it's smaller.What can I do? Thanks, TheBiBoy
This is in no way a comment on the appropriateness of two 16-year-old twin brothers experimenting sexually with each other, but I recently had the unusual and undreamt-of (by me) experience of having sex with a pair of 44-year-old identical twin brothers (in a bathhouse in Milan). What was most interesting to me was the degree to which they were perfectly in tune with each other sexually, both in terms of their appetites and their performance. It was almost as if I was having sex with just one person, but with two of everything (and of course, four hands). It was not an experience I would ever have thought to seek out, but having had it, I must say it was one I will never forget! Also, before we parted, I asked them whether they ever had sex with just each other, and they said no. I realized after that every guy they ever have sex with probably asks them that question.
