Some insight would be really appreciated ! I am starting to worry about my sexual health. I am a lesbian and was easily aroused by women before I went to college ( meaning I got horny a lot and girls turned me on) then I went to college and had a very bad experience with being gay. I got made fun of by girls in my sorority for liking other girls, it was awful, I hated myself then.... so I think I developed internalized homophobia. It took my 3 years to hook up with a girl since then and we were both drunk- she wanted nothing to do with me when sober, it only happened twice. Then I met a girl who wanted to have sex sober but I couldn't do it, I felt sick, like I was going to vomit and couldn't get away fast enough. That was a year ago and now I've been doing things to get my sex drive back, watching porn, masturbating, etc. but I still feel like something's wrong with me sometimes. Have I mentally shamed myself into thinking lesbian sex is wrong and therefor incapable of arousal?? I hope I get my sex drive back....it's been too long. Any one else experience this ?
I send you hugs! I can't presume to know exactly what's going on, but I do know that sexuality is complicated and just because you're feeling like it's not happening now doesn't mean it won't. That being said, I would be kind with yourself and try and find someone you connect with emotionally if possible. Maybe that will let you feel more comfortable.
