This makes me mad - Same sex marriage and having a baby

I agree with you and understand your frustration, but same-sex marriage has only just passed in the US and surrogacy is not just a black and white topic either. I personally believe that it should be allowed everywhere if all parties are willing, but all parties involved have to understand how it all works and all the risks etc.

I mean one struggle in itself is finding a surrogate. You can't just pick any female bodied individual off the street and force her to have a kid.

Basically, it should definitely be legal everywhere, but it still is a detailed topic.

 

I agree that this should be legal everywhere.

 

I am going to disagree. I think adoption should be available to gay couples everywhere in the world BUT I am not sure how I feel about surrogacy.

Surrogacy to me is making a market out of a child, which could be considered okay in a non overpopulated world were orphans didn't exist, but there is SO many orphan kids living in misery that are waiting to be adopted that I can't quite understand why people would prefer giving 10 of thousands of dollars or euros to a woman to bring, yet another child to this world when there are already so many in need that could profit from adoption and make happy that same couple...

 

This is a VERY valid point.

 

haha thank you, I am just genuinely curious ! :lol:

 

Adoption, yes. Surrogacy? No. Of all the arrogant things people do, NO ONE is entitled to someone else's body. T_T I will forever say surrogacy is not and should NEVER be a right. This is one more bullshit thing that will dehumanize women--by treating them like a glorified incubator.

Besides, this planet is already painfully over-populated. Adopt.

 

It's for the same reason that women will go through countless rounds of ivf treatment. The need to have a child of your own, with your genes.
I wont criticize surrogacy because I won't criticize ivf.
In both situations, adoption is an alternative but it isn't for everyone.

 

Hmm, adopting a child is actually waaaaay different than becoming a parent via surrogacy. You all make mention of all of the kids already on earth who need homes. And yes, that is true but the vast majority of them aren't newborns and adopting someone who is not a newborn comes with A LOT of amazingly difficult and heartwrenching stuff. I have friend who adopted an older child out of the foster care system and her experience with parenting is very very different than mine. It's much much harder. And actually more dangerous (which isn't always the case, but often is).

Also, I very strongly believe it's super crummy to give straight people with great fertility a free pass on making new babies, but to get all jusegmental when gay people or people with fertility problems want to do the same. Why not judge pregnant women too and tell them about all of the children who need homes?

---------- Post added 14th Nov 2015 at 12:10 AM ----------

And actually adopting a newborn also comes with its own baggage that is very different than the stuff that comes with surrogacy.

---------- Post added 14th Nov 2015 at 12:17 AM ----------

I agree that no one else is entitled to another's body, but I DO think that women should get to make the choice for themselves about weather or not they want to offer their body in that way.

 

This is exactly the reason why I would adopt before ever considering ivf. But I don't think it's a thing that should be excluded from gay couples because it's not excluded from straight couples who can't have children, either. So I think that the choice should still exist... Although I'm not sure how exactly I feel about surrogacy in either case, anyway.

 

The thing is that surrogacy is illegal in my country, straight couple don't have access to it and actually if a French person tried (regardless of the sex of the parents) to go through the surrogate route then the child would go through heaps of trouble to be recognized and given access to enter the country and to get a French citizenship.
IVF is also extremely controlled in my country and you won't be able to have access to it if you are single for example (regardless of your sexuality).

They don't get a ''free pass'' on making new babies, they just happen to have a sexual orientation that allow them to make kids freely. I think more straight couples should adopt because we don't need more kids but you can hardly monitor all heterosexual couples or cut every straight woman's ovaries in order for them to be forced to do so, can you ?

Also what would telling a pregnant about adoption do to help the situation? She is pregnant, the baby is already there you can hardly suggest she abort to adopt instead, can you ? It's completely different to telling someone that is not pregnant or can't be that adoption could actually benefit them and the rest of world.

Also if someone need the baby stage to love the child then maybe, just maybe, they shouldn't consider having a child. Babies are only babies for a year, there are great, calm babies and non-stop screamer babies, if you are willing to only deal with one type of kids then you shouldn't parent. All child comes with his own set of problems, if people aren't willing to deal with that then maybe they shouldn't parent.
If a woman wants to give her body to be a surrogate to help out a family or for the beauty of the act then she should totally do it, but why do 99.9% ask for an enormous amount of money in exchange ? Medical expenses etc should definitely be covered but some women and agency makes it a business.
If agencies and women weren't making a business out of it then maybe, I would reconsider my position. But when you look on the net and see people trying to sell themselves as surrogates for ridiculous sum of money such as 30000 dollars, you really wonder about the actual motivations behind those ''selfless acts''.
I personally think that when you want to help someone you should be willing to do it for free, it's like those people who help others and feel the need to tell everyone about it and post it all over facebook, leaving you wondering if they would have made the trip to that orphanage and actually helped out had they been told that they couldn't take pictures and talk about it to anyone...

 

Personally, I think surrogacy is okay IF everyone agrees to go through with it and adoption is not an available way of obtaining a child.

 

I live in NYC where surrogacy and IVF are extremely prevalent. I don't have a problem with them.

Women in the US generally (although maybe not always) have enough freedom to choose what to do with their bodies. I suppose it might be possible to force people into surrogacy as people are forced into prostitution. This would obviously be extremely problematic. I don't think that's happening much in the US, though--it's generally a well compensated and legal activity afaik.