So it started back in July when I was commuting to the city for work. I ran down the steps of the subway, and BAM, insane, throbbing head pain starting from my low head (occipital region) to the top that disoriented me, and made me think I was having an aneurysm. As soon as my heart rate settled from running, the pain dissipated, and I continued to the office. I was having this strange head pain all day, with any type of strain, like lifting boxes (not too heavy), bending forward, coughing, and especially when sitting down. Now it's November and I still have this issue. I was laid off from my job a few months ago, which, besides hating toward the end, I did like in someways. It was my ticket to get in the city and out of my hometown, which I was planning to move out of in just a few months. I was also slightly relieved, though, because this head pain was making it hard to travel in. I'd take a taxi to work from the subway, walk slower, walk down the stairs slower, and felt a general fogginess that made me feel horrible about myself and my work. Like I was losing myself. Cut to now, and I still have this issue, this pulling back of head pain right at the bottom of my head, and when it's bad throbs up to the top. I went to a new neurologist (because my old one just swatted it away as migraines, which I called BS on) who suspects that my CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) pressure has either gone up, is too low, or I'm having exertion headaches from not breathing properly (?? all the sudden I'm forgetting to breathe while doing stuff?). I went to an eye doctor who looked at my optic nerves, and because she didn't see any swelling, my neurologist is now thinking that my CSF is too low, which could really only be from a tear. You can get these after spinal taps (which I've actually had before, years ago, and had a leak that made it impossible to get out of bed), or spontaneously from doing something too extreme or injury. The only thing I can think of is that I had previously had to move a few weeks before this happened, and I was lifting heavy things and carrying them down three flights of stairs, so I very well could have caused a leak, I imagine. My pain is no where near as extreme as the CSF Leak that I experienced in the past. I was literally bed ridden for over 10 days while it healed, and anytime I lifted my head AT ALL it felt like it would explode/was intolerable. So I almost feel stupid complaining so much, but because this pain occurs from exertion or certain movements, I feel really limited in what I can do. I feel angry and frustrated, like my body has betrayed me in someway, and like I'm never going to get to do the things I want because I have a possible leak that hasn't healed itself for four months. That's a long time! If it is a leak, I feel like, would it even close after this long? I read forums of where people get a spontaneous leak, and then they're limited forever, or years. I wanted to do so much with my life, and now I feel like maybe I won't get to. I wanted to be a crazy career freak in the city or LA in my industry, while working on my own creative projects, and now I'm like, will I not be able to do any of this? I only feel 100% when sitting down or laying in bed. I'm terrified that I won't get to do what I want, and I'm having such a hard time being positive and telling my body to heal, and doing things to make it heal. I've been laying in bed for about a week, hoping that if it is a leak, I'm allowing it time to close up since I wasn't told to do this from when the pain first started. I just continued working, and moving things through the pain even though it was explosively intense while lifting and being active. I feel like I don't know how to keep a positive attitude and feel hopeful, or that everything will be okay and I'll just learn to live with it. I feel so angry and unhappy and slightly bitter watching my friends and everyone else get along in life, experience life in the city, work hard, and dance around or do whatever they're doing without even thinking about their head or what kind of pain this or that movement might cause. I'm going for a test next week that will hopefully confirm that it is or is not a leak, and am gearing up for some painful, disappointing shit in the months ahead if it is... I'm just really frustrated and thought I'd write it out...see if anyone has any tips on how to be positive and hopeful when you're a pessimistic brat that thinks the world is ending. I know people have it so much worse in life, and would be happy to have some head pain while still being able to function like a normal human being, but I have a lot of dreams and things I want to do... I just don't want to be limited. blah. Thanks for reading...
I understand. I have had really bad headaches and dizziness off and on(with the dizziness being more on than off) for over the last 2 years. The headaches were so bad 2 years ago that I thought I was having an aneuryism. The hospital ran a CT scan and it came up fine. I went through 3 different neurologists, 2 of which who weren't of much help other than prescribing stuff for migraines. I went to the ear, nose and throat specialist to see if there was a problem with my ears or nose that could be exacerbating my issues as well. All was fine. I was told my "contract assignment ended" one day. My employer hid any further details as to why I was being released. The only plausible reason had to be my absences where I spent time in the hospital. The head pain was so bad it felt like I lost awareness for a couple of seconds while on the phone with a customer. The second ER trip, the doctor did nothing other than to say that I needed to lose some weight and get more active, eat healthier, drink more water etc. There was nothing more he could do. My most recent neurologist has put me on low dose valium, and I also have had dizziness rehabilitation therapy. It helped me mildly. Ironically, my neurologist has asked me not to run because it can cause movement of the particles in the brain that control balance. I also have had issues with heart palpitations, high blood pressure(which is controlled now with a med), and chest pain for the last 4 years almost. I have had many EKG's done, 2 stress tests, and doppler scans. All were good other than having mitral valve prolapse. Blood flow was also good which doesn't indicate that I am having blood flow problems to my head. Long story short, we have a lot to learn from the body. Chronic conditions suck, but you are not alone in having odd symptoms and conditions.
I'm sorry that you're going through your stuff as well. I don't want to have a chronic condition, though. Alone or not, I'm stubborn and want normalcy!! Thanks for your reply, and I hope you get your stuff in order.
Oh my, this sounds pretty awful. I'm glad you're going for another test. Once you have a diagnosis, I wonder if a physical therapist could help. I don't know but perhaps some specialized exercises could strengthen muscles around your spine or neck or wherever the issue lies. Maybe even a physiatrist. They work with patients recovering from strokes, etc. I haven't had a stroke but have seen one for something quite mild and she was very helpful.
Oh, it's my new friend, Really! Yeah, I have to see what the test says and then go from there. Just being really pessimistic about things. Being a poop. Thanks for your suggestions, I've heard of people being sent to physical therapy after awhile for it, for pain management when other things fail. Ugh. No fails please!!
