im FLOORED

geez. (*hug*)
tell her to look into giving her baby up for adoption. I'm adopted and I can vouch for it's awesomeness.

 

Wow. It's a hard situation. I think she should do what's right for her and her situation.
I don't think anybody should force her to do,anything. She has to decide this,for herself.
Abortion or adoption are both personal choices. What's right for one person may not be right for another. I think this girl needs support,NOT badgering. Her friends should be there for her,but let her decide what she needs to do,without pushing their feelings and opinions on her.

 

Believe me...do not force her to abort or to carry it full term. This decision is between her and the father. Mostly up to her.

I just had an abortion. While it still makes me sad that I couldn't keep my child, it was the best decision I could have made in the situation.

If you truly want to be a good friend for her, rather than telling her that she HAS TO put it up for adoption, tell her you'll be there supporting her no matter what she decides. Being a pregnant teenager is a very hard thing. Emotions are going full throttle. And to have people pushing their views on you is not helpful in the least.

Be there for her, provide a shoulder for her to cry on, and love her. Even if you don't agree with her choice, be there for her emotionally. This is a very tough situation to be in. My heart goes out to her.

And if she needs any information about abortions, if she's thinking about it, PM me and we'll talk. I'm not going to force my opinions. Just give her the facts of what happens and what she'll go through physically and emotionally if that helps. I can also help with what she'd do if she carried it to full term as I am taking a course on child development and we have covered what happens during a pregnancy and postpartum.

But yeah...your friend really just needs to know people do love her no matter what. And she needs information. The facts. Not opionions of people. She shouldn't make a decision before looking over the information.

 

Myra is completely right. It's all up to her and the father, it's nobody else's business.

 

there are plenty of people who will galdy adopet a baby also tell her to check out http://www.nrlc.org/abortion/help.html

 

I think the only one who should have a say in this matter is the girl who is pregnant. don't get me wrong i think it's a bad idea for medical reasons, but people shouldn't force their beliefs on someone else.

 

I agree with Myra.

Pregnancy is a situation that has no easy answers and your friend has to decide what is best for her and what is best for her child.

There are cases where, as a friend, you can be involved to prevent things from happening - like encouraging friends to use birth control or use condoms to prevent STDs or not drink and drive. But pregnancy is a situation that has already happened and your friend has the responsibility of a very big decision on her hands.

Being a friend means that you may not agree with the decisions that your friends make in situations like this but it is the time that they need the most support. The last thing they need is pressure and judgment from their friends and family.

You can tell your friend that you don't agree with abortion but that you will be there for her no matter what she decides. At this time, that is the only thing that she needs from you.

 

its true that true friends must support their friends.. but would a true friend support a thing when he/she knows that that thing will harm their friend. no! a true friend would try and prevent those situations.

firstly she cant give the baby for adoption untill she gives birth .. alot can change in 9 months. she might want to keep the baby.

this depends on your friends age .. i would recommended these 2 things
1: in the case the baby is not wanted after birth.. give for adoption
2: ask your mom to "adopt" the baby or help support him. she already raised 1 baby raising the other wont be a problem.

 

I agree with you on this part

I COMPLETELY disagree. If she keeps the baby, its not her mother's responsibility to take care of it. It is hers and hers alone. Well...the father's too. The mother can help, but she's already gone through having a child and may not want another one at that age. Its very likely that if she carries it 9 months that she won't want to give it up. There is a bond. It about killed me when i aborted. I loved that child more than i've ever loved another being. But it had to be done. Throwing your baby on your parents is not an option. Its your responsibility. Not the grandmothers. It would be a problem because...hey...she may be done raising kids. Why would she want to raise her daughter's?

And going through the pregnancy is tough for teens. They are ridiculed and put down. It would be emotionally traumatic. I'm not saying abortions aren't traumatic, I'll admit they are. But its easier than wondering, is my child alright? You know what happened as you are the one that did it.

 

i didnt say its her mothers responsabilty and if i did i did not mean it that way .. i was merly suggesting that since her mother had already raised a baby. she could help with this girls one .

if the father is just some one timer then theres a chance he wont want anything to do with the baby.
but instead of piling a baby on an 18 year old girl i think it would be more reasnoble that the baby would be with some one who knows what he/she is doing E.G her mom untill she can support the baby herself

 

I agree with Myra and others,

It should always be her call, her body=she has final say. As a male with my emotions screwed up/nonexistant/unintelligable as they are, I would have no business anyways even attempting to understand a pregnant woman's feelings about such a decision. I would however have a hard time believing anyone could make such a decision lightly, so I would think any woman opting for abortion would need moral support rather then a sermon.

 

we still are missing a huge fact that could change everything .. whats the girls age..
if her age is 17 m advice would be completly diffrent then if she was 20

 

^^ Very true.

And Steve...I apologize if it seemed like I attacked you before. This is just a very touchy subject for me as I have "been there done that" only two months ago. I still get emotional about it.

 

I'm actually mildly offended that abortion is equated to murder, but I suppose this isn't the place for that discussion.

 

not to sould like a complete bitch but it is not teh fathers business at all.
sorry but thats how it is.
not his life. not his body.

 

While the father can't make the final decision he should at least be involved in the discussion. Especially when one considers that he will be financially responsible for the child he creates.

 

Hey cromig. I think that karabulut and myra summed up any input that I can give. The only thing I can say is that this is a decision she must make and you should be there to support her. Which ever path she takes now will have a huge psychological impact on her (irrespective of her age/financial situation/maturity). If you are truely her friend you will be there to help pick up the pieces after she's decided.

 

maybe im too independent. but i dont think the guy should pay me anything. if im mature enough to get preg then i should know im facing taking care of a kid on my own.

but i personal thing it should be law that every girl 13 and older should be on birth control. then there would be no issue in the first place.