Okay I posted this originally in another forum but realized it didn't really match it, so I decided to move it over here and maybe this time I can get an answer. I'm pretty certain of my sexuality as pansexual, however, going beyond being with anyone romantically, I have uncertainties. I know I'm 17, but I think sex is just a normal part of life and it's normal for a teenager to have it on the brain, but I have difficulties grasping some things, although I think it might have to do with my being transgender. Now my thing is I can see myself being with another guy easily. However, and I'm not sure if this is because I'm a trans guy, I have uncertainties with women. I feel more intimidated by being with women and maybe it's because I don't feel like I can please them like I feel I should since I myself still have female anatomy (which really sucks) or if I'm just nervous about going down on them. Since I don't have the genitalia I prefer, I can't penetrate, and I know oral is fine as well, but I still find it harder to get my head around. I'm both romantically and sexually attracted to all people, and it's not that I wouldn't want to be with a woman, I just don't know why I can find myself easily being with a man in bed compared to a woman, especially since I don't have a preference for either (or maybe I do and don't realize it). Now I am inexperienced, but I feel like I'd rather give my partner more pleasure than I receive, and I feel like I'd know what to do with a man more, but at the same time my insecurities are - I guess - harder to ignore with a woman because if I'm with a woman she'd also have to go down on me, but I don't really want anyone near my genitalia. I guess with a girl I'd rather give pleasure than receive any from her, but with a man I could accept both because a man doesn't have to necessarily go near my vagina. Has anyone else ever had this problem man, woman, or trans, if you're bisexual, or even if you're gay/lesbian? Or any idea why I might feel this way? Or any advice on how to get through/over this? It's like I wouldn't want to not go down on a woman, but I feel like I would hesitate to if I think about what I would do in real life instead of in fantasy. Which makes no sense to me.
Well, I can tell you that at 17 I was certainly intimidated by women. I'd say that is quite normal. So is having a lot of questions and concerns before gaining any sexual experience. I recommend starting with the situation or person you are most comfortable with. Confidence will come with time.
