I'm kinda beating myself up after having unprotected sex... but I was the insertive though and the bottom said "I'm on PrEP." That was the second time that I've ever done unprotected and I really don't plan on ever doing it again. Am I at risk for getting HIV? I didn't see no bleeding or scars on my foreskin after I was done. Is there HIV in rectal fluids? And can it get into your penis even if there's no scars on it? Should I still have worn a condom even if the bottom says he's on PrEP? I'm not on PrEP so I don't know how it works. I think I was a little scared that I would come across as paranoid and the partner would be turned off by it and just stop it.
HIV? That is what you are worried about? This is by far the biggest oversight people on PrEp continuously make. Here is the thing: there are other STIs out there besides HIV. So PrEp significantly lowers the chance of HIV transmission, hooray! You can breathe a little easier now that you are much less likely to contract one of the most deadly diseases out there among gay men, but don't throw out your condoms just yet! That's just one out of the dozens of STIs out there. So, while in all likelihood you did not get HIV from this one time you had unprotected intercourse, it was still incredibly shortsighted to think that's the only thing you had to worry about. Get tested. Tell the bottom to get tested too. Don't do it again.
Assuming the bottom is in fact on PreP and he takes it responsibly, then there should be very little risk of getting HIV. HIV doesn't come from rectal fluid though, no. As for how it gets infected, its usually through micro tears in the penis and the rectum that transfer the infection. Its not like you will see a massive tear on your dick. But yeah, the risk isn't high if he was in fact on PreP. Yes, you should wear condoms even if the bottom is on Prep. The first reason is that you never know if the person is truly on prep or not, and they have to be regorous with the dosage. Think abou PreP like birth control. It has to be taken every day at the same time for a long period of time for it to work. You cannot stop the treatment else it won't work. So, just like someone who is having sex with a person with a vagina, use condom because you never know if the person is responsible with their prescription. And, like it was dramatically put by the person above, other STIs have to be taken into consideration. If you care about not catching one, then def always use a condom. How comfortable you are about risks is up to you. Just understand the risks and what that means for your health. If a partner gets turned off about you being safe, then run away. Seriously. It means that they don't care about your health or theirs.
I don't think I'll ever bareback again. Thank you all for giving me pointers. Also I don't know if it's just me, but I guess I realized how overrated bareback is since it may have felt a slightly bit better, but not at all better enough to ever be worth the risk. Like I really don't get all the fuss about bareback when I start to remember the feeling of it. Or maybe it's just my dick because my dicks been kinda collecting dead skin so it feels a bit number than before (if someone knows how to get rid of dead skin on penis, please do share lol - I've been trying to do so in forever but nothing works lol).
I think you're making a wise decision. And... the line your partner gave you (about how it's ok because he's on PrEP is EXACTLY the sort of irresponsible bullshit that should not be happening. People need to use condoms, and PrEP is NOT an excuse to bareback. Additionally, when you're having sex with someone, you have no idea if they're actually on PrEP, or if they're taking it consistently (it doesn't work reliably unless taken with absolute consistency). And of course, PrEP doesn't do squat for other STIs Barebacking is a bullshit perception that people have romanticized. With a properly used good quality condom, the difference is pretty much imperceptible. Anything else is just somebody's bullshit fantasy and certainly not worth the risk.
To add to what Chip is saying, non-adherence to PrEP plus contracting HIV equals bad news. You're at higher risk for developing resistant strains of HIV. Whenever you don't take the pill everyday, there's enough drug for the virus to see, but not enough to suppress its replication, so its genes will mutate to develop resistance. These resistant strains can be transmitted to individuals via bareback sex. A resistant strain makes treatment of HIV a lot tougher, because drug classes to which the strain has resistance cannot be used. You will probably need to take a lot of other drugs that have intolerable side effects. This result is not something people think about, as HIV is no longer a death sentence. Still, taking a shitload of drugs to take care of resistant strains is gonna suck. Moral of the story: PrEP's intent is to be adjunct to condoms, i.e. be an extra layer of protection. Be careful and please practice safe sex, regardless of whether your sexual partner(s) are on PrEP or not.
