For the last few days I've discovered a cruising spot in the city where I live and I've been kind of exploring it on my own without actually engaging into any sexual activity. Part of me would like to have a quick hook up only involving foreplay because the whole thing has an arousing effect of me. Being in the woods, around nature...waking up the primal sexual instinct that us men have. It's an undeniable thing. And then another part of me is completely against this idea. I feel like friends and family would be disappointed in me if they knew I did something so impulsive and risky. So, in conclusion, I'm facing quite the dilemma. What are your opinions on cruising? Is it something to be ashamed of in this day and age? Or should I just embrace my appetite to try this new experience?
You don't give any indication of your age but assuming you're an adult, I guess it comes down to what risks you are willing to take. The authorities are likely to be aware of this place, you would be meeting with randoms who may not want to stop at foreplay. There's the risk of std's, and what you do about using protection...
To each his own, i guess, but for me, the personal safety risks would dramatically outweigh any potential benefit. There's potential for being jumped, beaten up, robbed, and raped. These are people you'll likely never see again or have contact info for, and who likely do this a lot, so the risks they may carry one or more STIs is pretty high as well. At the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you. The one thing I might suggest is exploring less risky means of fulfilling your needs.
Thank you for your replies. It is a rather risky activity even though I live in a very open minded area. But still, anything could happen. What would be some other less risky ways that I could fulfill my needs? Going over to a stranger's place is just as risky and I can't bring anyone to my home because I live with my parents. Don't know what other options are out there...
I am curious, when you say "I feel like friends and family would be disappointed in me if they knew I did something so impulsive and risky" are you really concerned about what they think or is this your internal moral compass speaking to you? If your out, have you considered joining a local LGBT community group? whether it is a social group, and athletics league or even in school? There will most likely be others in such organizations looking for similar experiences.
Okay, this isn't true and statistics won't support it either. You are probably more likely to be raped, robbed and beaten doing other activities than cruising. Biggest two things to watch out for 1) undercover cops 2) STDs 1) Undercover cops is still a very real risk for some cruising spots. Depending on the area and if people who use that area are messy (leave condoms around, don't clean up after themselves, etc.) 2) Chances of catching an STD are real. Normally I would say don't stress too much about it other than making sure you don't have anal sex with strangers, but since you live with your parents just make sure you are able to get tested for free near where you live. Yes, there is a risk, but there are things that you can do to make it as safe as possible for you. Three main things 1) Either use snapchat so the other person can send you a picture or have them send you a picture while holding something random like a spatula or 3 fingers on their right hand. To prove they are real 2) Meet for coffee first or at a walmart first. If If you get a good vibe, then go to their home and have the sex you are looking for. 3) Tell someone, even if its online, where you are going to be and when you should be checking in. Personally story, I have hooked up with 3 people from ****** and probably visited 2-3 cruising places so far. Its not as scary as people make it out to be. Follow your gut and you MUST not be afraid to walk away from a hook up when you aren't feeling the vibe. Getting some isn't worth your safety.
I've gone to many men's houses and apartments over the last four months. I have almost zero reservation about it. They have more to fear from me. I'm usually physically larger than all of then and I'm mentally unstable (although they don't know that - lol - I believe they suspect it) so I am in control. And I hate all of them. It only reinforces my feelings about gay sex being an act of violence. And hatred towards other gay men. ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2016 at 09:40 PM ---------- I would never visit a cruising spot. I'd never know where to find one anyway. Even if I did, I'd be rejected over and over again. I can only handle one rejection every so often. Plus, I don't need the added hassle of cops playing capture the fag.
HI I'd avoid cruising spots for many of the same reasons posted. Not becaues it is shameful, but dangerous. Assaults, robbery, are not uncommon, as well as risk of arrest-and labeled a sex offender. There are safer ways to connect with others. Stay and play safe.
