How often to bottom before you got the hang of it

There is probably no specific time and I would imagine everyone has a different experience. There are both physical and psychological attributes that can impact how long it might take. Some might bottom once and then be off to the races with no issues whatsoever, while others might take months or years to get both physically and emotionally comfortable.

I do think practicing will help you get comfortable sooner, as will practice with your partner. If your mentally already open to the idea of bottoming, then you should continue to both practice with toys as well as physically engage with your boyfriend.

Over time, you will find certain positions may be more comfortable than others, you might get comfortable in any position, and you may find the great pleasure of bottoming.

Every person is different. Keep an open mind. Good luck!

 

About 1 in 5 gay guys aren't into anal, to one degree or another. This can range from only doing it because your partner enjoys it and you want to make them feel good (and they will reciprocate by doing something you enjoy more) to totally hating it and never wanting to do it. You might be one of us.

Of the remainder, some number are tops and so prefer doing the penetrating rather than receiving. You might be a top to one degree or another.

In terms of practice and frequency - with practice you can learn to relax the relevant muscles and let a guy in as easily as shifting your weight from one foot to the other. But, the key point is that muscles are involved and while the 'its just like riding a bicycle' factor does play a role, if you haven't had a lot of experience riding the metaphorical bicycle, or are out of practice, there is going to be something of both a learning curve and being rusty when you start up again.

If you don't mind spending a few bucks, I'd recommend investing in three different toys:

a) A prostate stimulator - these are just what it says on the tin

b) A 'love bead' style anal toy - these look something like a flexible rubber rod with spherical nodes running down it. In some models the nodes get bigger as you move toward the base of the unit. You can use this to stimulate your prostate and also the nerves around your opening (which can be a whole different experience).

c) A dildo - get something penis shaped and of average size - this can get you used to something of human dimensions (the other two toys are generally either thinner than human or shaped differently from human equipment.

You can get all of these from Amazon at reasonable prices. Ready any customer reviews and make sure the toys all have flanges or are otherwise designed to prevent you from being able to put them (or lose them) completely inside. Mid-price models are fine and hopefully strike a balance between cheap crap and breaking your wallet. Whether to get vibrating or non-vibrating is an exercise for the reader. Vibrating can be fun, but non-vibrating is more realistic.

The point of getting these is to let you experiment on your own time and at your own pace to:

1) Determine whether you find any type of anal stimulation enjoyable.

2) Play and experiment without feeling any pressure of having someone else there watching you or making you feel like you should hurry up or have to pay attention to them, or whatever. Not saying your guy is or would do this, rather than you might make yourself feel that way just on your own.

3) If you do find you enjoy some activities/toys/positions/etc., this will make it easier to relax with your guy - because you'll have established that at least some kinds of anal stimulation can feel good (or awesome!!!) for you, so less likely to be nervous about it. And the practice will help you learn how to control the relevant muscles and give you a point of reference for what you might want to do with your guy since some of the things you really enjoy with the toys can be replicated with the real thing.

Eventually you might work up to a toy that is around the same size as your guy, but that may or may not be necessary. Suggest playing that by ear.

Coming at this from another direction - you could try doing anal more with your guy, and also trying out different positions, angles, thrust speeds, etc. to see if there are certain things you like more than others.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

AKTodd basically said everything I was going to say, but I'll echo a few points.
- Get a dildo and/or butt-plug to get used to the sensation.
- Try different positions. There are some that feel really good, and others that are borderline painful. Seriously, get creative. You'd be surprised at what angles feel amazing.
- Make sure you start slow (often times fingers or a butt plug or something can get you used to sensation and get you in the mood to relax) and use lots of lube. If it's getting sore, re-apply often to cut down on the abrasiveness.

 

It might, did you use lube with it as well? Are you trying to relax with it inside?

Bottoming is something that can take time getting used to. It's a totally different sensation and sadly isn't for everyone. I will say though if the butt plug (though a dildo would probably be better for this) is hitting your prostate the sensation will be a million times better

 

I think this is the main problem. What is it that you are after? Do you want to be able to take a dick faster and easier? Do you want to enjoy it more? Do you want to be able to do it with little lube?

What are you after?

Butt plugs arent really meant to go in and out like a dildo. They are meant to be left up there while you jack off or top. You can play with it like a dildo, but I wouldn't recommend it if you are already feeling uncomfortable about it.

When you say you feel uncomfortable, is it pain or is it getting used to a new feeling? Are you anxious about having an accident?