Hey me again! This is a bit weird but it's annoying me quite a lot. I'm a fairly anxious person in general. I'm not very good at staying still, I walk quickly everywhere and never really seem to calm down. My resting pulse is always really high even when sitting still (except when I wake up when I have a really healthy normal resting heart rate of about 55.) I feel this is all contributing to anxiety I'm getting around a guy that I have just started seeing. He is really really attractive - by far the best looking guy I've ever been intimate with and he's so friendly and patient but I'm really anxious around him all the time. Walking around in public I feel so on edge if we hold hands because I'm constantly looking to see if anyone else is noticing us. It's distracting me from enjoying the experience. Today I went back to his for the first time. We have been intimate once before (a one night stand which ended with us dating but was only a bit of a fumble and was a bit awkward) but this time I had a really nice time. Lots of cuddling and chatting and stuff. When it came to getting more intimate however I couldn't really go beyond kissing. I really quickly lost my erection and felt completely uncomfortable and worried about my lack of sexual experience because he's been in a few long term relationships and I've only had drunk fumbles and one attempt at dating. I've never had problems like this before and bizarrely I think it's because I'm so attracted to him and don't feel I can be as attractive as he is. I had this problem to a lesser extent when we first slept together but assumed that would be better this time as I'd gotten to know him but I actually think it's got worse. He's patient and says not to worry and that we should take things slow but I really want to be intimate with him and am pretty frustrated this didn't work out. Luckily I don't think he noticed that I lost my erection. What went through my head the whole time was He's a few years younger than me but much more sexually experienced which is embarrassing. I am 22 and he is 19. I don't feel attractive compared to him. I'm worried it's too soon since his last relationship I felt weird being at his house. Unfamiliar environment I'm a bit scared of anal. I have bottomed once which was fun but it took a lot of work to be relaxed enough. I've never topped and I know he is more of a bottom so worried I won't be able to please him. The last time I tried to top I found it a bit of a turn-off for some reason. I don't know where to put my arms! He put his arms around me initially and because he's younger that felt odd for some reason. I put my arms around him instead later and felt that implied I was more experienced than I was an that felt weird. I totally over think this stuff. Damn I've written an essay! Sorry it's a bit all over the place haha. How can I calm down? Maybe I should see a doctor...:bang::bang:
