Hi Guys Feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment. I am a 41 year old man, who came out as bi sexual about 6 months ago. Have tried a couple of websites like ****** and Surge but not getting anywhere and is worried that it is because of my personal appearance. Like the title of thread says I am overweight, ugly and have a small cut penis. I have tried telling myself there is a guy out there that will overlook this but when I not even getting to first date stage that ain't going to work. Am based in South Wales, just north of Cardiff if anyone wants to be my friend. No, I don't expect any more than friends, could also do with some of them at the moment Thanks for listening Jamie xx :goodevil::tears:
Have you heard of the bear community? I'm part of this subgroup of gays that are overweight, hairy and not the 'stunning' type you think of when you think of the stereotypical gay guy. They'd probably welcome you with open arms.
How do I find groups like that and are they genuine. As in do they truly "love" the larger guy or are they really just poking fun of them ?
(*hug*)(*hug*) Dating sites can be soul destroying (I dont think we are allowed to name them on here, by the way). I met my partner on a free dating website... I consider myself very lucky indeed. It took a lot of time, a lot of frustration and a lot lot lot of luck. It must also be a hard transition coming from a hub like London (where its all going on and there are so many people to meet) and moving to what I am assuming is a rather rural area of South Wales. Do you know any LGBT people in the area? Are your family accepting? Do they know you're gay? Are you a close family? Sorry for all the questions, by the way, I am really quite bad at trying to be friendly to people... I often come off as brash or/and nosey. Please forgive my social ineptitude As for your weight; I see that you have tried to lose weight in the past and succeded in losing a very good amount (I went to my first Slimming World meeting last week - I fucking hated it by the way so well done for sticking it out ). I can imagine though, that you have put it all back on? It is an easy thing to do. Have you ever been assessed for depression or any other mental condition which may be leading to your weight gain? I am not diagnosing you or assuming anything I just know that, often, people who are very overweight can have physological issues which contribute heavily to their weight gain. Also, maybe try and find something that you like at the gym (for example, some people prefer just to swim)? Or maybe give yourself a little treat afterwards as a reward or something to look forward to (like a sauna, a coffee, a little treaty lunch, a new DVD or something like that). That may help you a little. Although I really can appreciate how hard it can be to motivate yourself in that area. Have you tried making friends only on these dating websites? It can work quite well. Gives you a reason to get out of the house and have a coffee and a chat... it can help you a lot. (maybe reserve some dating websites for dates only and some for friends only? That way nothing gets confused.) May I also ask what your hobbies or interests are? How would you describe your personality? ---------- Post added 27th Jul 2016 at 09:35 PM ---------- I will link you by PM.
Have you ever looked in to the Edward Carpenter Community? Google it. They have events in Wales sometimes or the Lake District. Open to all people of all ages and a unique experience for most people.
Hi Robert Yeah am a bit of a billy no mates. Got a lot going on at moment, which doesn't help, including fighting for full custody of my daughter as her mum not coping with bringing her up. Not fully out. Have told ex wife as didn't want to be living a lie but don't intend to tell anyone else unless I was in a same sex long term relationship. Prob wont ever tell my dad though ! With regard to weight loss I have managed to lose 4 stone in about 14 months, which I am really pleased about but just seem to keep going up and down by a couple of pounds each week. Don't really have time for hobbies due to my job (finish at 11pm) and due to family situation. But I do like swimming. I would love to have some friends, but cant even seem to get them !! Thanks for link btw Jamie xx
I find the bear community to be the most sincere and least superficial of all the "cliques" within the gay community, they welcome everybody, but are particular to chubby, hairy fellows also known as "bears," or "cubs." It's really a shame it took me as long as it did to find them otherwise I might have accepted myself a long time ago.
^^^Benway has perhaps the best advice here. This is a reality that diverges from the "gay boy" advertising spin that one often sees.
Jamie - The Eagle in Charles St, Cardiff is probably the most bear-friendly bar in the city. I think they have regular nights but as it isn't one of my haunts you would be better checking this out yourself. Good luck Hun x x
Hiya - am new to Cardiff lgbt scene so if you or any of ur mates (esp guys) want some mates, here I am !! :smilewave:smilewave
