So I have a lot of problems that effect my well being (generalized anxiety disorder, panic attack disorder, social anxiety disorder, depression, and potentially ocd and adhd to name a few) and I've really hit rock bottom. I've never cut before, but I've purposely inflicted pain onto myself many times. But now I'm really having to resist the urge to cut and I don't know what to do. What do I do?? If I do cut myself, because I'm an impulse individual (and impulsivity, knives, and depression do not mix well) do I hide it? I need help and I'm worried with what my parents will think...
I'm sorry that you're considering ramping up the punishment of yourself. Anxiety, stress, depression, I know how these feel. I also know they feel a whole lot worse at 14. But let's see. Is there any way that you can step back, and reduce the stimuli in your life just a bit? Maybe simplify things, to the point where there are fewer immediate failures to worry about? What I mean is, can you set a simple goal to do one thing for yourself, and put aside some of the others? And it goes without saying really, that you ought to have a trusted adult to talk to. Do you have a counselor, or someone you can discuss this with? I don't think it's fair that you should have to deal with this all by yourself. You're having a tough time. Is should seem counterintuitive for you to punish yourself for that, but that's what you seem to be thinking. I hope you can open up a bit more with someone in your life about this.
My first recommendation would be to talk to your parents. I am sure they love you and if you are considering cutting you are already more likely to cut and more likely to commit suicide. It can only help, well outside of embarrassing you, it can only help. I know it is embarrassing, but if it prevent escalation in the matter, I think you will agree it is worth it... Next, as to some helpful stuff... Venting can help, however you choose to do so... Right everything getting you upset down on paper.. Write a letter (without actually sending it) to someone you feel is negatively impacting you emotional/mental health... Just listen to really loud hardcore music (one of my favorites), or work out (one of my most successful outlets)... Working out is honestly what I would recommend the absolute most. But it has to be intense workouts to get the full effect of what you want... The idea is to get the runners high you always here about... where your muscles get so fatigued/sore that your brain is releasing endorphins... That is basically identical to the effects of cutting excet you are reinforcing a good habit (working out), eliminating the need for a bad habit (cutting), getting healthier, and the usual residual effects of working out, like feeling good about yourself, feeling a sense of accomplishment (especially if it helps avoid cutting)... The thing to remember about cutting is that to treat it really you have 2 battles... one is learning new coping mechanisms like working out or whatever... the next is to treat the symptoms that led to you wanting to cut... Its not like your cutting for no reason... if those emotional problems were handled, odds are cutting wouldnt be an issue... I still recommend telling your parents, or at the very least, making a sort of pact with yourself that if things dont get better, and at what point, you go to your parents for help.. I can understand wanting to try on your own at first, but just considering cutting puts you at a much higher risk of suicide.. I doubt you would ever even consider that now, but you rarely do when cutting first begins... No matter what I really hope for the best for you.. I will keep checking here, but if you want to chat with me personally feel free to post on my walls... As someone who used to cut, I feel for you... I really hope things get better... Just know, you are nowhere near alone, last research I saw showed almost 15% (13.9%) of people under 18 have participated in self harm.. Please keep coming back and talking with us here until you can figure this out and get it under control. If you dont talk to you parents, then I am willing to bet that EC will be an important lifeline while you go through this.... ---------- Post added 25th Sep 2016 at 08:56 PM ---------- write everything** My bad
