Advice on possible performance anxiety with anal sex

Hoping I did this correctly...I was google searching different ways or methods to help overcome sexual anxiety or I think that is what it is. The guy I am currently with, he and I were finally going to attempt anal sex (I was going to top) and I put the condom on and the erection diminishes and it is like I can't get hard again. It is the second time it has happened. Pretty sure it is because I am in my own head or thinking so, but I have been pretty embarrassed by it. I had even taken 2 testosterone boosters the night before the morning we tried in preparation and because I have been using them on lifting days when working out.

Sorry if this is long, I am typing it as I am thinking. I am able to get hard and such when jerking off and even think about what it would be like to actually top my guy and on the couple of occasions it came to finally getting there, I lose the erection and can't seem to get hard to. Any suggestions or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

 

I have successfully topped before. Even the last time I had full on sex before the guy I am with now I was able to remain fully erect and topped without any issue. But all in all in the past I have successfully topped.

 

The boosters I have I had gotten to use with working out, just mentioned that I had them because they help with blood flow and usually when I do get an erection it is a very solid one. It just happened that when I finally get to having anal sex with the current guy I am with, I got up to go find and put on the condom ad go find the lube. Perhaps you are right on the length of time on first arousal. I put the condom on and started going soft, I even tried jerking myself off to get hard again and it was like nothing was happening. My boyfriend had turned on his side but I couldn't get hard again to begin to top him,

I am into the guy I am with. I was recalling past times, for instance the guy I had topped before the current guy I was with, we used protection and I was able to remain rock hard during those times. This guy liked to be bent over on all fours and I had no problem topping that way.

I feel like I get a good amount of sleep and have been. I have been stressed out by work so I wonder if it may have been that affecting the situation in addition to me getting in my own head, over thinking how anal sex was going to go and be since we finally were going to get to that point together.

 

I had never had any issues at all when using the boosters, it was only up until I got up to put the condom on and my guy was on his side and I could not get hard again. In the past before putting on a condom I never had any problem, but feel like I just got in my own head too much and could not be in the moment because I let all of the other things that did not or should not matter get in the way.

I have tried to bottom in the past and I guess I did not give it much of a chance, Like I try to relax to do it but to me it did not feel really good. I had even bought a vibrating dildo one night to try and I only used it that one time. When it gets there, I actually prefer to top though I did try to bottom before just a couple of times. The guy I am with made it clear that he has no interest in topping and I have been looking forward to topping him. Just need to enjoy the moment and perhaps just get out of my own head. The condom I used I have used before and it is one I seem to like, the Lifestyles Skyn.

 

I will have to try and remember that about the foreplay and not think and overthink.

 

I will try that; it was a bit of time in between getting up and finding the lube and condoms and putting the condom on. So after I did I tried jerking off with it on and nothing was happening like I couldn't get hard again. And maybe having him put it on may help as well too.

 

Just if it's going to be good enough and if I can get hard and stay had enough to, at least that's how I was feeling after I got the lube and condom and put the condom on....if I was going to be able to get hard enough an stay hard enough and that I will hopefully do what I can to make it all feel good an great.

 

You are totally right. All I have to remind myself to do is just to relax and breathe and not even think about it. If I start thinking like "I hope I get erect and able to stay erect" it is just downhill. But if I just focus on foreplay and not getting hard enough it is like night and day.