first time bottom

Are you writing about "bottoming" or being submissive?

Yes, it is painful, won't lie (wasn't always a lesbian). At first is painful in a sharp, tearing

sort of feeling. Make sure to have an adequate amount of water soluable on hand. The

deeper sensation feels like a fullness.

If you're referring to "submission", which maybe an integral part of the

equation or not. You must be able to give your welfare, obedience, and basically your

entire being over to someone else. It is TOTAL trust without reservation.

 

It's not painful.
Just be relaxed and use alot of lube.

If it hurts you should stop it isn't supposed to.



And i there's a big difference between being submissive in bed and slave/master fetish relationship wtf...

 

Both posters are correct actually. It can be painful which can have various reasons.

If the top is gentle and takes is time, the chances of pain diminish. It is important to be relaxed and as others have stated, you should use lube. So yes, it may hurt, but this shouldn't be the case. If both of you are cautious, it'll be fine.

 

Try water based lubricants with a condom on. The anal cavity isn't lubricated. This will help .

 

lpool,

I generally don't give bottoming advice here on EC because I am a Top when participating in anal sex, which I rarely do (and sometimes I feel stupid doing so). But I've given (hopefully) pretty knowledgeable advice before and I will try to again this time.

First, from what I understand, the first couple of times bottoming can definitely be painful as you get used to your top (controlling your anal muscles during the actual act of penetrating, getting used to the size and feel of your top's penis, etc). But with repeated practice, it becomes very pleasurable and no longer painful. A key element to that can be foreplay preparation by your Partner (fingering, rimming, sex toy play as part of the preparation).

Second, check out this link, if you haven't already done so:

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/physical-sexual-health/222699-gay-bottoming-issues.html

I hope some of this may help you to have a wonderful experience!

 

Just start out slow, and make sure to use plenty of lubricant. Communicate with your partner too, let them know that you haven't done it before and that you need them to be gentle. It might feel uncomfortable the first time or two until you get used to it.

Two other things to consider: Hygiene before and after; and of course using protection.

 

Have him lay flat on his back and you be on top so you can control the entry into your backside. Take it slow and easy with lots of lube and a condom. It will feel a little weird and there may be some discomfort as it enters the first time. Stop and relax and then try it a little deeper. Practice will make it go better! Pick a good guy it is something you will remember all your life!

 

I have anal sex fairly infrequently, and I reserve it for someone I feel a special connection with. I would say I'm about 75% bottom, 25% top.

In my experience (as JohnDeere said) it's a good idea to have your partner lay on his back while you lower yourself onto his penis. This way you control the speed and angle of penetration.

Once you have him inside, I invite you to masturbate a bit. Notice that with him inside you masturbation may feel a lot more intense. This is because he is stimulating your prostate gland, which is full of nerve endings. Most men who love to bottom enjoy it because of this stimulation - and the wonderful feeling of fullness. This is a deep and very special connection to have with a man.

As others have said, use a condom and plenty of water-based lubricant. Put lubricant on his penis and use a finger to put some on and just inside your anus. This way you should have a good amount both at the opening of the anus and inside you.

Good luck! I hope it's very special and just the start of a new experience in your sex life.

Patrick

 

It's all in the mind.

You have to be able to open your anus as if you were shitting and insert 1 finger, 2 fingers, 3 fingers and other non-hard stuff like a carrot (with a condom on it).

Bidet helps, if you have it.