how do i forget a drunk incidence of getting down with a close friend? i cant get past it leading to us avoiding each other? how do i get past it?
Hy, Well I guess it's not easy to forget that! The question is, did she like it??? And do you still think about her? Sometimes we don't know how people would react to drunk sex or making out when their sobreity hits them. How is your relationship with her? I had a drunk sex with someone, well I initiated the kiss! But never expected it to be that far you know, being drunk and all. The next day we talked and said never to mention it again, next time we were drinking she wanted to do it again!!! Ok so long story short I had a bf and so I stepped back and we never talked again. But it's not like we were bestmates so it was no biggie for me. The best way to get past the awkwardness is to talk about it. Be straightforward but sensitive, some people might be confused so you have to be careful of your words.
hey...thanks for the response well...i knew she liked me before that but i had my reservations because she kept a homophobic attitude towards my dating life and had made hurtful remarks of anyone that i got involved with in the past....this day she kept teasing me and forcing herself on me and with being so wasted i went through with it despite no former feelings whatsoever..in the morning she travelled back to her place and we have never talked since then...we had a frenemy relationship before that and the incident has made things worse....i think the worst part is i feel coerced into something ive never wanted by a person who has been the least supportive of my life choices...am a bit of a coward when it comes to confrontations with people that undermine my lifestyle or i choose to let it go and keep away.. is there a way of forgetting the incident without confrontation?
Well you're doomed!!! Hehe I'm kidding. I hate to say this but it's like you're a part of her growing up. Sometimes people experiment to understand themselves better, looks like you were available and she took advantage of her knowledge that you like the same sex. Personally, homophobic slurs were part of "my" social convention, it's not true to anyone but to me it was. I was one of the people who would make fun of someone "rubbing themselves to another woman" I know I hate myself for saying those things for fun but I grew up and realized what I said were horrible. I didn't understand it that time, and it was out of peer pressure too that I said those terrible things. "People can't accept something they don't understand, and to understand, they have to know first." What I'm saying is she could be in the closet, plainly curious, discovering herself, whatever. But ignorance on lgbt is rampant, we can't force people to understand something they are not familiar with. Do you get me? . Are you still thinking about her? Or do you completely hate yourself for sleeping with her? What is it you feel towards her? What do you feel about what happened between you two? I'm sorry if I'm somehow letting you think about things. But in order to move on, you can't always push these thoughts aside. Then maybe in your own pace, you could learn to accept what happened and somehow take responsibility for that action. Then you'll make better judgement next time. If she's not that important to you, then just try to go on with your life. Consider it a bad experience. But if you're really bothered and feel so violated, then try to talk to a therapist about it, or a counselor.
yeah i agree with the fact that 'we cant force people to accept something that they do not understand'.....really opens up my generally clogged perception of homophobic people...maybe the pain from my experience is that i have always been considerate to her feelings but would not get reciprocation for it....maybe now discovering that the whole friendship was a waste bums me out ...the problem is that i get constant flashbacks on the details of the incident that gross me out and bring out feelings of regret and bitterness towards her so yeah i completely hate myself for participating in coercion...before that we had shared other aspects of life rather than sexual intimacy and the matter was like crossing that boundary in the sense of people that share intimate moments with blood relatives...you get?...so you have seen me through it in a way...thanks...i hope to avoid making such mistakles that haunt me bearing that i possess a very strong conscience...thanks anayway
You're welcome silili4 Thanks for sharing it to me! Yeah I get what you mean, not that I experienced the same thing but yeah, incest. How long ago did the act take place? Bcs it may also have something to do with that. Sometimes when it's fresh we all have this guilt and disgust after a drunken sex. In my case, it was mutual but I felt guilty and disgusted, but also good. So I can only imagine how bad you're feeling since you said it was coerced. Just hang in there, don't think too much about it, or try not to. It will take time to get over it of course, you might not forget it at all, but in time you might just brush it off as a bad or funny experience. It depends in how you move forward.
its true the incident is less than a month old so it is still fresh and i have to depend on time as a cleaner of unwanted memories.. plus i guess it was also the first time i had sex while drunk so i had never had such an experience before and it repulsed me a lot...i lost control but the good thing is that we learn from such....in the mutual sense as your experience, i have in the past use a little alcohol to reduce nervousness around a person that i have a crush on or there is a moment felt from both sides...this was so different...it was forced on me...sorry to get in to graphic details but she stripped herself naked and literally lay on me while forcefully shoving her nipples into my mouth...i was resisting at first but the alcohol overwhelmed my judgement...lol...i know it sounds kinda funny because one cannot report rape in that sense...but it was terrible...i remember laughing at first but getting irritated then blacking out lol...the next day i woke up with a terrible head ache and we couldnt talk..she just left and travelled back to her place ....i need a therapist...haha
Yes you do need one. Haha Oh ok I get the picture. You can stop now. Lol But seriously, just get over it. Or are you bummed that she didn't say anything? She must be confused about it too, just saying.
