So I am an 18 year old virgin currently in my first year of college and I am pursuing a relationship with a girl. I haven't really had a real relationship where things got even remotely physical. If things to work out between me and this girl Im assuming things will get physical at some point (not anytime soon though). *I guess my question is will my hymen be broken if I have sex with this girl and will it hurt as much as if it was with a guy? I feel really awkward asking this, but I don't like the unknown.
Ok, there are a lot of misconceptions about what the hymen even is. The hymen "snapping" has nothing to do with sex or virginity. It can snap through non-sexual acts of exercise, like horseback riding. I "broke" mine when I was two to a wooden horse, but never felt it. Likewise, you can be penetrated by a guy and still have a fully intact hymen. All women are different, some have thicker hymens than others. However, The hymen actually partially wears away for most women by the time they first have sex. It wears and becomes thinner with time, through exercise, even as simple as walking. Having a full hymen covering your whole vagina is a very rare medical condition that affects 1 in 200 women and needs to be accessed by a doctor. You would not be able to menstruate if you had this. Snapping the hymen doesn't necessarily hurt, depending on how thin yours is. If It's large and thicker, it will hurt more to have it torn, but every woman has different anatomy. In all honestly, It's not even "supposed" to break in the way society has taught us. MOST of the pain that occurs during heterosexual intercourse is due to a lack of arousal. Even if you had NO hymen at all whatsoever, penetration will ALWAYS hurt without foreplay and arousal. That's because the vagina is a stretchable organ that cannot take a penis or toys without foreplay first. It's simply not possible without pain. You can have a painless first time if you do it correctly, and you can have an extremely painful 100th time with no hymen present, if you do it wrong.
Yeah, you may not even have much of a hymen to begin with, and whether or not it could be "broken" by lesbian activity really depends of what you will be doing. Some lesbians don't fuck with penetration at all and some do. Usually it probably depends on the mood. And I'd say modern society has pretty much done away with the notion that your hymen is related to your so-called "virginity" which is really a social construct. Also, if you are worried about penetration, you have a couple of options: You could experiment with penetrating yourself at home, even just with your fingers, or you could make it clear to this girl you aren't comfortable with it.
