I had no idea I was pregnant until after I miscarried. I started having pain and other signs of miscarriage that I thought were simply signs of a bad period after it being more than two weeks late; Heavy flow, awful cramps and pain, and lots of clots. It actually took me a few hours and a lot of medical research after I had miscarried to register what had happened. My fiancé and I were not trying to get me pregnant. We have both agreed that we are not ready for children and also I have chronic illnesses which could make pregnancy fatal. ...I am slightly relieved that I don't have to go through the drama with my family, or the medical drama that would have come along, yet I am now grieving hard. It's a weird kind of grief. I am grieving the fact I did not know I was pregnant and did not get to experience the motherly joy that comes with it. I am grieving the fact what was the remains of an embryo went down the drain before I knew what was happening. The more I think about what happened and the fact I was pregnant the worse it gets. I cannot get it off my mind. I also can't really tell anyone partially because of embarrassment and because my super religious family would flip out if they knew I have had sex and it would give them more reason to not approve of my fiancé. This is a weird situation to be in for me. I'm ready to cry.:tears::tears::tears::tears::icon_redf:icon_redf:icon_redf
Hey. Sorry to hear about that. Miscarriage is always it's own special type of grief, different even than losing any other family member. I recently lost a nephew this way and even though I'm his aunt and not his mother I still felt the acute blows. I cannot imagine what it must feel like. First step is to take care of you. Don't worry about your family yet, that will come in time. Find a support group for people who have miscarried and share your experiences with them. As you get to know them more, I can guarantee you will start to see how to tell your family. Best wishes.
Sorry to hear of your loss and grief. Keep in mind you could also be experiencing some significant hormonal changes which will compound the sadness. Take care of yourself, if it isn't subsiding consider seeing a doctor or someone at Planned Parenthood.
I never wanted to get pregnant. I told my fiance any children we had would be adopted and he kept insisting we at least have one of our own later on if my doctors say it will be ok, but now I'm mourning the loss of a pregnancy I didn't know I had. I'm not so much mourning the loss of the tissue I washed down the shower drain, but the fact that I never knew I was pregnant and didn't take care of my body like I was and the fact that I don't get to experience the"magical" moments of pregnancy. I don't get to see sonogram pictures, I don't get to feel it kick, I don't get to swell up to the size of a house and have my fiance take care of me, and I don't get to squeeze his hand and scream at him through labor and watch him help me raise his child. Used to be all I thought about pregnancy was how awful it was. How much it changed the mother. How painful it was. The fact everyone basically says the only way for me to have a child is a Csection which I do not want I refuse to be cut open I'd rather die. .... now I want his child like wtf man.
The universe is certainly an asshole sometimes. We all have our plans but then something happens and those plans get shattered. I understand why you're sad and also surprised at the feelings this has stirred in you. Maybe the silver lining here will be that this lead you to a new realization and new plans. Only time will tell. Right now just take a sick day if you can. BTW all three of my kids were C-section and my wife says she was glad for it. They all are healthy and happy.
I'm so sorry about the miscarriage. As guy whos twin was a miscarriage I know how terrible it feels to lose that person you'll never get to know. And than on the other hand the way the pregnancy was going if he wouldn't have passed when he did, I would have. It was kinda like only 1 of us could make it and I'm happy in a terrible way I lived and it makes me feel like an awful person. It's weird, there's big obvious cons. And tiny pros, and the fact there's any pros makes you feel 10x worse and it itself almost becomes another con.
Sorry to hear. I don't know what to really say. I am assuming you were just 7 weeks pregnant because you state you were 2 weeks late. It's honestly not that uncommon...a huge percentage of pregnancies do not make it past 2 or 3 months of pregnancy. I wouldn't hold any personal fault for not knowing you were pregnant. There were women that didn't know they were pregnant until 6 months into the pregnancy (which I personally couldn't fathom) In addition if you were pregnant how much of your health would be at risk as well as the unborn child. I think as long as you stay realistic about the situation the grief should pass. Well I wish you the best and sorry I couldn't be of more comfort. Do you possibly have a health professional you could speak to and get some guidance on the matter?
