I'm not on any app other than ****** and a lot of the matches I get end up only wanting to hook up and nothing more. That's their prerogative, but what disturbs me is that almost all of these guys seem to go condom-less once they start taking PrEP. There's no way there hasn't been a rise in STDs because of PrEP, right? I mean guys seem to be forgetting that it stops HIV, yet you can get quite a few nasty and painful STIs/STDs if you don't use a condom. I mean come on, take some responsibility. What do you guys think?
There's a documented and pretty dramatic increase in STIs since PrEP became available. And what you describe -- asswipes that don't want to use condoms because they think PrEP will protect them -- is exactly what health officials were concerned about, and it's exactly what's happening. There are now documented cases of people contracting the HIV virus **while on PrEP** using it exactly as prescribed. It isn't foolproof or 100% reliable, and the long-term effects of taking it on liver and kidneys isn't known. There's no way that anybody responsible should be using PrEP in lieu of condoms. That's just being a selfish asshole. And, of course, PrEP doesn't protect against the many other STIs out there. If people would just use condoms, none of this would be an issue. Also... if you're looking for a relationship, the apps are not the place to find them... as you've seen. You'll find almost solely hookups, and if that's what you're into then fine but expecting anything else is pretty much a losing battle.
I just don't know what the realistic options are anymore besides virtual. Maybe friends of friends, but I can't think of anything else.
I don't know any backstory here, but sometimes it's difficult when your direct goal is a relationship. Sometimes, you can have more success doing the things that you enjoy and make you a better person. Continue following your interests and keep putting your positive energy out into the universe - you never know when and where you'll meet someone. Ultimately, the dating pool is smaller and you're going to have to make some compromises. One option is to live your life and not drop your standards: it might be more difficult to find a partner, but you might find happiness being your own person and following your own path in life. Another is to make some compromises in order to find a partner. There's nothing inherently wrong with that - as humans we crave interaction and sometimes it's in these circumstances you encounter an amazing person. I think it's just important to realise that there's more to life than a romantic relationship, and as you're looking for that special someone you should realise that you're looking for a person who complements you, not completes you, for you already are a completely amazing individual. Anyway, whatever you choose, feel comfortable in your decision. Both are equal options with no shame whatsoever, and you should feel free to change your mind at any time. I just wanted to reach out to you because I feel exasperated with the whole dating scene as well and I really don't know where and how to connect with others. Hang in there. (*hug*)
These comments seem to be overly aggressive and, as a result, negate the benefits that PrEP is having on reducing HIV infections. And to say someone is "selfish" if they are having condomless sex between two consenting adults is a harsh as well. No reason to shame people; there is enough shame to go around for LGBT as it is. Countries where PrEP is being consistently provided are seeing a drop in the rate of new HIV infections (see Sweden). And the physical side effects are marginal at best for a select small group of those using it; just as there is for millions of people taking cholesterol reducing medications. As far as STDs, this is why condoms should continue to be used. And while I absolutely agree with that, let's also reflect while PrEP is not 100 percent effective, if I am not mistaken, out of all the PrEP users thus far there have been only two confirmed reports of HIV contracted while on it. That is an extremely low percentage. Nothing in this world is 100 percent fool proof. Even when using a condom the same probabilities hold for getting an STD, where it is still possible to get an STD even while using a condom. As I said, condom use is good practice. But marginalizing the benefits of PrEP is bad practice. People need to be smart about protecting themselves from STDs without creating unnecessary stigmas.
