Alright. This might be a strange question, but does anyone find sex to be...weird? Some people make a huge deal out of it. Like it's precious and Holy and whatever else. Visions of satisfied, happy, in love people right after the deed is done play out in movies and shows. But I've never felt whatever that is. The concept or idea of "making love" is this out there, fictional concept to me. But I'm wondering if it's because I've never been comfortable enough with my partners? So, is it me? Am I the one who has an issue because they haven't had a sexual experience that's fulfilling or loving- or is sex really just a sort of a lovely and awkward messy kind of thing? It's not like I don't like sex. Sex is great. I'd say I like it a lot. Maybe even more than some. But it's also kind of...weird. Just sex. Never "love."
I don't think this view is uncommon, especially since more people are more open about hook-ups these days. How we view sex is socially conditioned as well. I personally do not share this same experience....but I guess I view it weird in the opposite way? I don't like sexual stimulation, I find it boring, pointless, a waste of my time. I don't have a sex drive and find that being aroused by random people and being excited about sex is an alien concept to me. I actually do feel the "making love" thing since the love and emotions is the only reason I'd really enjoy it. If I can bond over it, It's great, if not- boring. Everyone has a different experience and opinion on sex. Some view it entirely casual, some view it only romantic, and some can do both. I wouldn't say either is wrong.
I don't feel like I relate to sex the same way most other people do either, but for a different reason. Due to physical health issues, sex is often painful for me, so I'm just not all that into it. Don't get me wrong, I love orgasms and generally have as many as possible...I just tend to feel that having another person involved is more trouble than it's worth. If I'm with someone, I focus on them.
Sex, casual sex, is kind of weird to me. Not bad - but weird! I'm allowing myself to be physically vulnerable but then at the same time emotionally detached. I think, for me, having mind-blowing, love-inducing sex is about being completely vulnerable, and that's more than a physical thing. It's what takes the awkward messy thing to the "next level". Meh, I miss that.
Yeah, it's weird. I guess I've never been truly vulnerable with someone. And I've always felt way more focused on myself, oddly. That's how I look at hetero sex. Everyone can sort of focus on themselves, even if they're the ones giving the other pleasure. That's a way I knew I was totally not straight, though. I wanted to focus on this one girl a whole lot! That freaks me out though. Thinking about having some weird lovey dovey experience. Idk what that is. I'm weird. Forever. Lol.
