I'm a virgin (in the sense that I never penetrated nor have been penetrated) and I want to have sex but I just don't want it to be with a complete stranger because: 1. I'm afraid of getting a STD 2. I want them to be patient with me because it's my first time (bottoming or topping) 3. I'm afraid they are too rough and I get hurt I mean there are times when I'm, for a lack of a better word, horny and just want to go out there and just hookup with some guy but then I get so anxious (more because I'm not completely out) I dated this guy for about 2 months and I finally got comfortable enough to want to have sex but then he dumped me. I mean we did other stuff like oral but never went all the way. I'm not that big on making losing your virginity a big deal but I just want to you know take it slow. Am I over thinking things or am I just not mentally ready for sex?
Only you know if you're really ready. It's perfectly okay, and healthy even, to tell the other person what you're feeling. Whether you're nervous, etc. If they know you're a virgin and how you feel about it they'll most likely take it slow. You won't really be able to get an STI if you're using a condom, and if you want to wait until you're with someone who means a lot to you then by all means do that! There's nothing wrong with waiting.
You need to take it slow with anal regardless because it wasn't really designed to take a dick in relative ease like a vagina can. Prep work is a must, and can sometimes be tedious. Definitely find someone who understands your needs.
I only lost mine recently and I'm 20, so don't feel you have to rush! But also if you feel like you want to do it and are comfortable, then don't hold back. Just yeah, a person who treats you with patience and respect is a must. My current partner was a bit more experienced than I am, but was very sensitive to my needs and took things slow with me. Otherwise I wouldn't have felt comfortable with him.
You are the only one who can truly say when you are ready for sex. You will know for sure when you are ready, even if someone says they the nk you aren't. For example, my mom once said no one could be ready for sex when they are in high school or until they could drink. I easily disagree with that, because I know that I have been ready for awhile, and I only recently turned 16. So being ready is really up to you, and how you feel deep down.
Like everyone else said, only you can say whether you are ready or not. Until then here are somethings about your worries Wear condoms and talk about having safer sex with your partner. It is common and necessary to have this talk before you have sex "Have you ever gotten tested?" "Lets make sure we have condoms and lube ready before this happens" "Do you ever get worried about STD's?" This one is under your control. Before you are going to have sex with someone (a stranger or not) let them know that this is new to you and that you want to take it easy. Let them know that maybe you will want to stop in the middle of the act, but then continue after you take a break. Talking is the key. Communicate exactly what you want from your partner. Let them know how to take care of you. Two things. One, if it ever hurts or its too rough then let them know. They should stop as soon as you say so and should try to do something to either make it not hurt or go slower. Preparing yourself to bottom is very important. This means that your partner or your should play with your hole a bit before you go inserting something. What works for most people is for the top to start fingering you (with tons of lube) with one finger. The top can do that while he sucks you off. After he feels you are relaxing, then they can try 2 finger, then 3. Usually if you can fit 3 fingers with ease then you are good to go. You will also have to learn to relax, which is a bit hard to learn since it takes some practice. You can do that by either practicing with your boyfriend or by yourself with the help of a dildo or your own fingers. All that said, don't be surprised if you cannot bottom the first time. It might take a couple of time for it to go as you want it to go. It personally took me 2 or 3 times to be able to bottom. All in all, whatever you decide to do, make sure you enjoy the journey of it all
I think that apart from taking every measure of precaution there is, you should make sure the person you'll be having sex with is someone you know and are comfortable with. I think the only way to ensure a positive experience in your case is losing your virginity within the borders of a relationship.
I agree with everything smurf said, I was 18 the first time I bottomed and I didn't really enjoy it because he wasn't concerned with me being comfortable or even enjoying it. He did what he wanted to and got out of there, (it was not a very magical first time lol)I didn't try again till I was 22, I know it seems like a long time but I wouldn't do it again till I knew I had a caring partner...when it comes to stds just always wear a condom whether your bottoming or topping for yours and their safety...when it comes to being to rough...I almost always have to tell him at some point to slow down or change positions because sometimes it just hurts no matter how much lube and foreplay is involved. The main thing is being relaxed, it's understandable to be nervous and "tighten" up especially if it's your first time but that's where foreplay comes in and mainly being comfortable with your partner, your surroundings and your own body. ---------- Post added 29th Dec 2016 at 12:51 PM ---------- I meant to say "always use a condom" I didn't mean wear one if your bottoming lol i'm sure you knew what I meant but anyways...
