I've been with my GF for almost two years now and at the beginning it was fireworks all the time. After the honeymoon period it reduced but was still there but I've had a super tough year (came out to my family and it went incredibly badly, so have been in and out of therapy, did a stint on anti-depressants but finished up about 3 months ago and would consider myself highly strung, anxious and prone to pessimism as a result) and my libido has really dropped. My GF is an amazing human and never makes me feel uncomfortable about it or anything like that, but I miss those feelings of desire and excitement. Is there anything I can do to increase my libido? I'm working on getting into a better head space etc. but can I eat certain foods, do certain activities, take certain vitamins or anything like that?
I'm no expert but I'd guess that anything that makes you feel better overall, generally could only help. Exercise is a good one for getting those happy chemicals flowing in your brain. You might also think about introducing some silly, fun stuff into your sexy times. Perhaps you could each write out a handful of activities you'd like to try or do again. Put all the slips of paper in a bowl and draw one out on "date night" and incorporate it. They don't all have to be sex related. They could be a special treat for dinner or dancing to your favourite music or a back massage. Anything that might lead to something good.
I second and agree with what Really says. Small, nice things can lead to great things. Nothing forced ever works, so if you are forcing yourself to have a higher sex drive, or to get those feelings of excitement/desire back it just won't work. Also, if you feel anxiety over your low libido, that won't help bringing it back up. Certain medications can significantly reduce your sex drive as well. Your girlfriend sounds really great and supportive, and I am sure she understands that you have been through some tough things. Changing your diet (I was never a believer on this, but once i changed my diet and cut out a lot of processed foods, my mood dramatically improved) and exercising and doing things that make you happy and stress free will improve your overall mood. Cutting out toxic people also works wonders. Shakespeare said it best: "All things are ready, if our mind be so." Don't force yourself. You just got off of anti-depressants, you've had a rough year. Your sex drive will come back in time.
Thanks for the advice and support - really appreciate it. Will give what you've suggested a go and try to just be a bit easier on myself I think.
