Hi there everyone. My question/problem is this...For as long as I can remember since I started having sex (only about 3 years ago) when I am a top (the penetrator I mean not the straddler lol) I cannot cum simply by penetrating. The only way I'm able to is if I do it continuously then pull out and jerk off for like 30 seconds or more and then orgasm. Basically I cannot seem to cum unless its my own hand. Usually it's the same with getting oral sex from my boyfriend or even him masturbating me with his hand. Unless it's my hand, it won't work for me. And frankly all though I know it isn't his fault or probably not my fault either...I still feel embarassed and sometimes he feels bad that he can't get me off. Does anyone know why this might be happening to me? I am circumsized, but I've yet to really hear it happen to any people with A: penises as large as mine (i'm nine inches long) or just B: most guys. I just kind of feel like I've got some problem with my phallus. P.S....yeah I'm trying to sound sophisticated by saying phallus and circumsized instead of cock and cut lol.
It's difficult to say why. There are those whom I've dated that always had to bring themselves to orgasm. I never though much of it. I still don't. To be honest, it's not often I cum whilst shagging someone. I give it a go until I'm tired, finish myself off, and go to sleep. Well, maybe a smoke and then sleep. =] Don't worry too much about it. Believe it or not, thinking about it may make it worse. Go with the flow. Concentrate on the experience and feeling rather then if you'll cum. Oh, and have fun!!
The reason this happens, usually, is because your body got used to orgasm by masturbation that your body psyches itself out to believe that orgasm can only be reached by masturbation. What you can do is to ask him to wrap his hands around yours while you jack off. Then, after doing this a week or so, try having him jack you off right when you start your orgasm. After a couple weeks, you'll be able to orgasm when he gives you a hand job. Gradually your body will accept the fact that someone else is stimulating your penis or testicles is OK and allow itself to orgasm. Hope it helps
We have this idea of what sex is supposed to be like. Bottoms have no troubled taking it. Tops stay hard the whole time. Everyone gets off from every sex act. That's just not realistic. And these misconceptions are the problem. From your story: You and your boyfriend have an active sex life You enoy sex and are willing to try new things You both are interested in satisfying each other Your boyfriend is able to get you off with a little help from your hand Sounds good. So, where's the issue? If it's really important to you to be able to have your partner get you off without your assistance, then step back a bit and start masturbating together. When you are getting close, have your boyfriend help you until you come. If needed, alternate between his hand and yours or use both his hand and yours at the same time. In time, he will learn the rhythm and grip that works for you and you will become more accustomed to coming from someone else's hand. When you're able to come from a handjob, use the same approach with oral sex and anal sex. Alternate between oral/anal and having your partner stroke you. As it becomes easier for you to reach climax from hand stimulation, you can let your boyfriend finish you off with oral/anal when you get close to orgasm. It takes time and patience. But it's also important to understand that a healthy and happy sex life isn't tied to any particular act or coming in a particular way or at a particular time. Good sex is about caring for each other and demonstrating your feelings in a physical way. If you both are being satisfied sexually, then there's really not a problem.
^ Agree. And the more you think about it, the worse it's going to be. Accept that you might not orgasm at all. Start out with that in mind. And with that pressure to 'perform' removed, you'll likely be much more into it, and likely reach orgasm quicker than normal. I know it's somewhat disappointing for your partner, but it shouldn't be. It sounds like you're doing all right - and it's all about having a good time, together.
I had trouble with my ex-girlfriend, she never made me cum, ever. We broke up before we could work it all out. Just focus more on the fun and experience and less on the climax. As others have already said! Have fun thats more important!(!)(!)(!)(!)
I'm uncircumcised, 7.5 inches, and have the same problem, so I think it's just random! Just enjoy it, don't feel pressure to cum (easier said then done, I know). The most important thing is, as everyone else has said, happiness :icon_bigg
