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bipolar disorder came back

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Shasta, May 2, 2017.

  1. Shasta

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Western Nebraska
    Gender:
    Female
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    Some people
    Ten years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was put on medication. I ended up needing it more and more. I having long episodes of depression and racing thoughts. I year later my mother yanked me of my meds. She believes that all mental illnesses are bad behavior. Something can be punished out of me. Positive thinking and fruit and veggies and sunshine is her cure. She was raised in the 1950s a time when anyone with a mental illness was looked down on. She has some pretty prejudged views on this. She thinks that if she gets mad enough that I will snap out of it and decided to be happy. She was also was raised in era that looked down on getting help outside the family.

    here is the deal. a year ago i got tested for school and the psychologist said I had minor depression, inattention, and feelings of not belonging. She asked if I wanted to get on medication i told her no. A year ago it want that much of a problem. Now it was gotten really bad. I am a lot of racing thoughts, my attention span sucks, and I have internal dialogue. I catch myself responding to myself. Why would the signs of bd lay dormant for years then come back?

    I can relate to Ian from shameless. Like Ian I have triggers. I go long times of being fine. For me it was years something happens and bam they're back. The stress of questioning sexuality and my crush has been a big trigger. So has my mom whom is fixed a verbal beating and preaching from the bible solves everything. I think she wants it to be a simple fix. She thinks that if you change one thing poof everything is better. She ends up making it worse.

    I have appoint my psychologist on Thursday. do to the severity of my symptoms i am probably going to get medicated.