So I've always wondered if there are actually genuine straight men who are curious and want to have an experience with other men. The other day some gay friends told me they both had experiences with straight men and they were not repressed gays as they had relationships with other girls but that just wanted to ocasionally have sex with them. They didn't want any emotional relationship just sex and one said to one of my friends that he was the first and only guy he had an experience with. Why wouldn't they identify as bi? I know also that in the case of women the thing is very different as they don't have the pressure of defending their "masculinity", actually several female friends have confessed me that they wouldn't have any problem experiencing with other girls. Yet if you ask any straight men they would be horrified.
Those guys that your gay friends had experiences with sound like bisexual guys to me. Bisexual guys have relationships with women as well. Your female friends may also be bisexual. As for the straight guys being horrified at the suggestion of being with another man, I think it's because they are genuinely straight. I don't think it has anything to do with the pressure of masculinity. Genuine straight guys are not attracted to a man. It is not a turn on for them. Genuine straight guys are only attracted to women. My cousin is a gay man and he pretty much acts horrified at the suggestion of him being with a woman. lol So I guess it's the same situation for the straight guys.
Hey Mattroderic, What is your point in asking? I mean, sure, there are straight guys that experiment with the same-sex, but find out it's not their 'thing.' Are you asking about how you can find such questioning guys? If you are just curious about experiences that some of your gay friends told you about with 'straight' guys, then that may be a different issue. In my personal experience, I tended to be either open with male companions that I was Bi or, more often told them that I was simply Gay to other Gay guys (because of biphobia in the Gay community). Overall, there is much less stigma about women 'experimenting' with other women than men 'experimenting' with other men. Yeah, it's totally stupid and meaningless in the longrun, but in many societies today it makes a difference (at least from a supposed moral standpoint). Heck even back in ancient Greece, we have records that show that guys 'being with' other guys wasn't a big deal, however, there are some indications that 'bottoms' were sometimes thought of as lesser-men than 'tops.' Whoa! That was probably already TMI...
Yes I understand your point, i think that those guys actually lied to my friends. As regards my female friends one is not bi at all as she clarified to me that by "experimenting" she meant only kissing another girl and being very drunk while doing it (actually she has already done it). And I also would like to point out that me as a gay person I wouldn't find it horrifying to kiss a girl. But that is only, I think, beacuase of a cultural thing, gay men can kiss girls whithout being judged and straight girls could be judged but not as severely as straight men. ---------- Post added 3rd May 2017 at 06:27 AM ---------- I have to confess that my question comes in part because through time I've fallen for many straight guys and I have always wondered up to what point heteroflexibility is real. And also because I see as very hypocritical that many straight men have the dream of watching two girls kissing (even if they are straight) and if we expect the same from them they become extremely defensive and aggressive. Sorry if I don't express myself correctly, English is my second language.
[/QUOTE]I have to confess that my question comes in part because through time I've fallen for many straight guys and I have always wondered up to what point heteroflexibility is real. And also because I see as very hypocritical that many straight men have the dream of watching two girls kissing (even if they are straight) and if we expect the same from them they become extremely defensive and aggressive...[/QUOTE] I also felt that this was quite hypocritical coming from straight men. In fact, I made a thread about it. Some straight guys even prefer bisexual women over straight women. Apparently, from what I understand is that straight men are okay with two women because women are a turn on to them and the more the merrier for them. It's about sex, really. They like to fantasize that they are with those two women. I think many straight men would like to be intimate with two women at the same time (a threesome).
There are a couple of things going on. Sexual acts do not equate to sexual orientation. Just because someone enjoys having sex with men doesn't mean that they are gay or bi. This might be hard to picture, but it gets easier when you talk about gay men. For example, a lot of gay men who were married before coming out will tell you that they actually enjoyed sex with their wives. They loved them, they had fun, and the sex felt great. And all that, many still identify as just gay. Sexual acts are not the same as sexual orientation. Keep that in mind as we keep talking about this. Like you said, this comes down to sexism rather than sexuality. The patriarchy affects everyone including men. Men are not allowed to show certain kids of affection and most always be protective of their "masculinity". That shit is harmful. Women in the other hand are allowed to hold hands with their girl friends, hug, and be super clingy without it meaning anything. They are allowed to experiment and not have to worry about defending their sexuality.
Ummm, yeah, gratification from sexual acts with a certain gender MEANS you are attracted to that gender. If you enjoy sex with another man, you are AT LEAST bi. Let's not twist sexuality into something more complicated than it is. It's ALL about sexual preference. "Heteroflexible" = bisexual. Point blank period. Experimenting, on the other hand, doesn't imply you're necessarily attracted to a certain gender. If you're curious but it turns out you didn't like it, chances are you won't like it any time soon. Sex/masturbation does not indicate sexuality, but gratification from it usually does.
If having a simplistic view of sexuality fits your narrative, then go ahead and believe whatever you want, but that's just simply not how people's sexuality work. Apparently saying that its a bit more complicating is triggering to some people... Gratification from a sexual act does not mean attraction. There is evidence about this, its not about opinion. A lot of gay men have enjoyed sex with woman. It doesn't make them straight or bi. Sexual stimulation just feels good for some people Calm down and stop telling people how they must identify
